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What Your Summer Swimwear Says About You

What Your Summer Swimwear Says About You

By Sissy

We express ourselves every day through our clothing choices, and that remains the case when we're straight lounging poolside. What you wear at the lake/beach/pool gives others an idea of who you are and what kind of personality you’re hiding in your swim trunks. What does your current swimwear say to others? Check out our descriptions below and see what your fashion choices would say, if they could talk.

Monokini: If someone spies you in a monokini, they certainly aren’t going to assume you're shy. In fact, they may wonder if you model on the side. Or perhaps they’ll think you’re are a fashion major who removed a good half of her one piece in an effort to make it edgy. Or that you're 24 years old with a string of boyfriends, one of whom stars in “The Jersey Shore.” Either way, you come off as totally interesting and a little too naked. You’ll certainly keep ‘em guessing in this little number, but only you can decide if that's a good thing.

Bikini and sarong: Let's face it, this is a smart pairing—wearing a sarong hides all those weird fat things on your thighs. At the same time, it gives you the look of a classic celebrity vacationing at yet another exotic location, especially when worn with the right pair of Ray Bans. Everyone will ask you about your latest travels, since they'll assume you are the most worldly person they know. When they inquire about your private jet or your summer at an orphanage getting to know the babies and Angelina Jolie, you can tell everyone you had a great time, but "Angie was just OK."

White t-shirt: Sure, the white t-shirt is classic Americana, not unlike a pair of dark Levis. But would you wear a pair of heavy Levis to the beach? Didn't think so! So why are you wearing another kind of "real clothing"? If you are wearing a t-shirt in the water, it can only mean one of two things: you have the worst sunburn of your life and your mom would only let you out if you promised to wear this, or you are trying to start a wet t-shirt contest, and frankly that is just gross. Leave that to the monokini chick, OK? T-shirts are fine to wear over your swim stuff, but should be promptly removed after twenty minutes of sweating on the beach. Otherwise, people will wonder if you have a birthmark the size of a baby on your back.

Vintage one piece: You'll prance around in this swimsuit if you are a future art major who reads poetry, hangs out in coffee shops, and kills a Saturday at the record store. When you are not wearing cute thick rimmed glasses with girly flats, you rock a feminine and unique bathing suit that shows your bookish and cute personality. People will know you are the girl to hit up if they need a good book since you probably have six or so in your beach bag (which is adorned with pins, of course!). You may want to try a pixie cut, because it seems that girls who can pull off this bathing suit are the only ones who can get away with short hair.

Board shorts: This getup means only one thing: you came here to get real. In this particular case, that means you came to the beach to be active and sweat it out. You're a hot athletic sun goddess. You don't "lay at the beach"—that's just way too boring for a chick like you. You're organizing a volleyball game, grabbing your surfboard from the trunk, or skateboarding on the boardwalk. You get a great tan, but not from laying on your @$$ all day. You better tell all the other girls to stop texting on their phones and come break a nail with a game of Frisbee.

What do you wear to the beach? Anything we forgot? We know you creative kids have so many weird things in your closet and we wouldn't be surprised to see you in them at the beach. What do those items say about you?

Related post: Let's All Buy Retro Bikinis and Be Fabulous

Topics: Fashion
Tags: fashion, summer, swimming, bathing suits, the beach, swimwear, what your ___ says about you

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About the Author
Sissy

Sissy is a woman/girl who lives, works and eats too much popcorn on the north side of Chicago. Bet you couldn't guess that her real name is actually not Sissy, but it's what her family likes to call her by. Also, She's loud and is very glad you can't hear her.

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