What It's Like to Be 19 and Engaged
When we found out that one of our very own Sparklers is engaged, we 1) furiously stalked her FB for ring pics and then 2) insisted that she submit to an interview, so that we could nosily pry into her personal business. Here's what happened!
Emma: Hi Megan! OK. So. You are engaged. Can you tell us about your relationship? (How did it start…did you immediately know this was your future husband…is your fiancé as funny as you…etc. etc.)
Megan: Eric was actually supposed to date my roommate. He got set up with her on a blind date, and they were laughably mismatched but became friends. Eventually my friend was all, "DUDE, I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS INTO ALL THE NERDY SHIZZ YOU LIKE." She introduced us last summer via the internet. Totally magical.
I think for him, it was pretty instantaneous that he wanted to date. Or at least kiss each other's mouth parts. I was less enthusiastic because he was so determined. He was attractive and smart and funny, but he had this attitude like he couldn't fail and he was just so annoyingly sure I would date him. I was annoyingly sure I would not date him. Now I'm marrying him. Lesson to learn, boys: persistence pays off. In, like, a weird, totally unforeseeable way that she will not dig at first.
What came in between being sure you wouldn't date him and being engaged? Was there a moment when you realized you actually liked him, or was it a gradual shift?
We started hanging out and became friends first. I gradually started to like him a lot. I think I didn't actually realize how much I liked him until this one day when I got my wisdom teeth out. The next day he showed up at my house with flowers and superhero popsicles and I thought to myself, "Touche. I DO like you." I think it was the Spiderman popsicle that made me stop and think that I ought to give this guy a chance. I'm glad I did, because after that it didn't take long for me to realize just how good we were for each other.
How long did you date before getting engaged?
Almost nine months.
How did he propose?
In true Megan fashion, I kind of ruined it. He had this big thing planned out with dinner and magic and, like, probably live elephants. But a few days before I was all, "ARE YOU EVER GOING TO PROPOSE TO ME??" and he was all, "WILL YOU BE PATIENT?" and I was like, "NO I WILL NOT YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU?" and then he decided he'd better speed it up. So he came to the library at my school where I was working and through a series of crazy distractions, he and my coworkers hid him and got me alone in a room. I was very confused. There was a table in said room with a pretty journal on top of it. When I read it it was a love letter to me, all about everything he thought about me up until that moment. Frankly, when reading it, I was hyperventilating too hard to really soak up what it said, but rest assured, it was very romantic. Then he walked in wearing a dashing suit and proposed to me right there in the school library and my face turned bright red and I immediately started sobbing. Very hot, basically. We have it filmed. I refuse to watch it.
What did your parents say when you told them?
They were both supportive. Both of them want me to be happy. My mom in particular was actually a little hesitant to accept that this was right for me, but it was because I'm her oldest child, the first one to get married, and her only girl. I think she would prefer me to be a little older, but it was also not exactly unexpected. It's not unusual for 19 year old girls to get married in Utah.
So are most people supportive, since engaged 19-year-olds aren't a rarity where you're from? Are you getting any negative feedback from friends, strangers, acquaintances?
It's a pretty mixed bag. It's like if you live in Utah, you're either all for the whole 19-year-old engagement thing, or you think it's the single stupidest thing to ever happen. When I tell people, they invariably say, "You're so young!" but that comment is often followed by, "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you!" Then there are the people who feel this need, a need that apparently burns withing them, to explain to me why I am ruining my life. I'm wasting my talent, I'm subjugating myself, I'm bowing down to Mormon culture, I'm too smart for this, I don't know what I want, I've being possessed by an alien invader...the reasons why I'm completely insane go on and on for those types of people. I've actually noticed an influx of my facebook friends posting articles about how stupid it is to get married young and posting comments and videos about that. I don't think it's just directed at me because there are a few people my age getting engaged now. Basically a lot of people come off as really condescending. But you know, there will always be someone telling you that what you're doing is wrong.
Do these comments get to you? Do you ever worry that you're marrying too young?
The comments don't discourage me so much as annoy me. If my feelings were easily hurt over the opinions of others, I wouldn't be able to write on the internet. There's always someone who wants to see you fail, that's just a universal rule. A lot of people want to be able to say, "I told you so." I'm confident, though. I never thought I'd be getting married this young, but I also trust myself and my feelings. So, no, I don't worry. However, I haven't really announced it at large to my blog readers or sparklers because I haven't been sure what the reaction would be. I guess we'll see if they think I'm a blithering moron or not.
A lot of people do ask me if I'm pregnant though. To which I always put on a very serious face and reply, "Yes. I am. With a fetal velociraptor. Please keep this between the two of us."
What's your wedding going to be like? And when is it?
The actual ceremony will be on July 6, in an LDS temple. That's the part that's really important to me. In my religion, we believe that the marriage ceremony "seals" you to your spouse for eternity. It's just a beautiful concept, so that's probably going to be where I get all teary-eyed and whatnot. A lot of my friends and family can't go into the temple though, so we'll probably have some sort of vows or ring ceremony or something so everyone feels included. My reception is going to be very pretty, but I'm totally at the stage where I'm like, "I DON'T CARE. DECORATE WITH SILLY STRING. THAT'S ELEGANT, RIGHT?" The thing I'm stoked for about the reception is dancing. My family is Brazilian, so there will be a lot of dancing and samba and loud Portuguese until all hours of the night. Also, I'm ridiculously sad that my dress is so beautiful, since I will never have an appropriate venue to wear it at again, so I intend to be really annoying and insist everyone compliment it all night.
Can you tell us a little more about what the ceremony entails? Why can't all of your friends and family go into the temple?
The actual ceremony is basically just a wedding ceremony. The idea behind it is that you are married by someone with authority from God to seal you to each other and to your future children for forever. It isn't secret, but it's very sacred and that's why it's not really talked about much. I actually haven't been to a marriage in the temple yet because I can't go in yet! This could get really confusing really quickly, so I'll try to be succinct. The temple is believed to be a pure, holy place where we as God's children can feel closest to Him and learn about His gospel and our part in His plan. Lots of things are done in the temple, but that's an interview for another day. To enter the temple, you have to be a member of the church and be living the commandments of God. We want to keep the temple a holy place, and that's part of it. Before young men and women either leave on a mission or get married, they go through the whole temple for the first time to learn, as I mentioned before. There, they take covenants, which are promises between a person and God. After that, they get their garments, which LDS people wear under their clothes to remind them of those covenants and show their devotion to God. After that, they can go to the temple whenever they want, as long as they continue to live according to the statutes of God. I just haven't gone through the temple yet, but I will in a few weeks! That's why some people can't enter the temple with me and my fiance. It's kind of a difficult concept to explain but hopefully I did an okay job!
Is your mom/someone else helping you plan the reception, or are you doing it all yourself?
My mom is helping me plan the reception or else I would go nutso crazy and show up wrapped in toilet paper. I do not have a planning brain. If I were in charge of everything, the reception hall would be decorated with old Christmas trees and, like, masking tape. CLASSY.
Can we see the dress?? No, right? Fine, then, will you agree to do a slideshow after the wedding?
Once the whole shebang is over, there will tooootally be a slideshow. I promise you, I will be making ridiculous faces in 9 out of 10 pictures.
What about the ring, at least??
What do you think, Sparklers? Do you know anyone who's engaged? What are your thoughts on teenagers getting married?
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