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Trailer Alert: LOOPER (Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the Love of Our Mutual Lives)

Trailer Alert: LOOPER (Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the Love of Our Mutual Lives)

By Chelsea Dagger

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, how do we love thee (and your epic new movie trailer)? LET US COUNT THE WAYS.

1. There is time travel in this movie. TIME TRAVEL. How many times have I asked you butts to build me a time machine?! BILLIONS. Or at least upwards of 3. AND NOW SOMEONE HAS FINALLY DONE IT.

2. JGL's voice, which is like a bucket of gravel blended into a milkshake and covered in melted Twix bars. I WOULD TOTALLY DRINK THAT MILKSHAKE.

3. THOSE CHEEKBONES. A girl could cut her hand slapping that face. (I stole that uh-mazing line from BBC's Sherlock, the greatest show ever.)

4. Jeff Daniels and his lumberjack facial hair. Isn't he just so delightfully scruffy? (Also, he and JGL starred in the amazing movie Lookout together, and I can't wait to see them pair up again.)

5. Emily Blunt bein' all badass with a shotgun. GET IT, GURL.

6. Bruce Willis using BARS OF GOLD as a bullet-proof vest. WHY DID NO ONE THINK OF THIS BEFORE?! It seems so economical!

7. The killer background music. Doesn't it make you want to become a highly trained assassin, or at least a mediocre break-dancer?

8. All the potential pick-up lines I can make out of the title. "Hey, Jospeh Gordon-Levitt, what say you and me LOOP ourselves into an awkward, sweaty hug? Are you game?" SEE, IT'S RIFE WITH POSSIBILITIES.

9. The mind-boggling Inception-esque plot. I can't even begin to understand all the alternate dimension, Vector 9-level shizz that is happening here. (Sidenote: I don't know what "Vector 9" even means. I just thought it sounded impressive and science-y.)

10. The last scene of the trailer, in which JGL makes fine use of my patented finger-gun move. YES, HE STOLE THAT ONE FROM ME.

SO HOW AWESOME IS THIS TRAILER? AMIRIGHT?! Which upcoming JGL flick are you more pumped about; this one, or Premium Rush?

Topics: Life, Celebs & Stuff
Tags: time travel, crushes, hot guys, action movies, movies we love, thrillers, actors, movie trailers, celebs we love, looper

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.