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The Friday Awards: Let Them Eat Cake

The Friday Awards: Let Them Eat Cake

Well, Sparklers, we seem to be trapped down here in the dungeons...but not to worry, because Jelly_chan, Pianogirrl, and sppowell were right about last week's secret message: the dungeons are made of cake!

Now is the time to prove yourselves, Sparklers. Do you have stomachs of steel? It's time to find out, because if we don't eat our way out of the SparkNotes dungeons, we could be trapped here forever. Which would be really sad, because we don't have any milk to drink with our cake.

And now, on to the Friwards!

The Username of the Week goes to TheMoltenWindow.

The SmartyPants Award goes to *Amedeus for this comment on the fun facts post:

“This 50,110 word novel by Ernest Vincent doesn't contain a single letter "e." Ever.
I don't know... I counted three on the cover...”

The Way to Think Long-Term Award goes to SecretSparkler for her comment on the Abe Lincoln trailer:

“Did anyone else just wonder about what it would be like to do great things and then, nearly 150 years after your death, have a movie created about you hunting vampires or some such supernatural being? No? Well, I may have just been inspired to do great things (Coming in a very long time, SecretSparkler: The last Ghost Buster)”

The Poem Master Award goes to Sydney8771 for this comment:

“I have written a haiku about Sparkler comments. It goes like this...

Bam bam bam bam bam
Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam
Bam bam bam bam bam

The end & you're welcome.”

And LOL points go to the following Sparklers…

Nerdybandgeekgirl for her comment on the paranormal post:

“You know, I was maybe possibly going to give a slight moment of agreement. Until you said "vomit smooth skin that smells like orchids." I have never wanted to vomit skin, or orchids, or a combination thereof. But that sentence made me just want to vomit. Or laugh. I'm not sure which.”

A_free_elf for her comment on this auntie post:

“Brainwashed by hipsters. I can imagine it now: They keep you in an underground chamber, throw Urban Outfiters catalogs at you, and force you to listen to the their favorite bands' music (only the earlier work, of course).”

Caracupcakes for her quote on the Walk Two Moons post:

“You gave your sister the last slice of Bacon?!! You brave soul, that must be one empowering quote!”

Wallflower19 for this comment:

“I'm wearing a fedora and eating an ice cream samdwich. I feel so cool right now... I think it's mostly the fedora.”

ThePensivePenseive for her comment on the shaving post:

“I had really hoped that the response to a leg-shaving frequency of "never" would be "you are a hobbit and need the hair to protect your shoe-less feet."

In other news, my eternally delightful friends have been known to tell me that I "forgot to shave" because my leg hair grows so fast and is so dark that if I shave in the morning it's back with a vengeance by the afternoon. Maybe I'm a tall hobbit? Yep, that's definitely the most reasonable explanation.”

And for her comment on the summer clothes post:

“Every time this neighbor, "Handsome Calvin," is mentioned I picture the intended reader of this slideshow to be Susie Derkins from Calvin and Hobbes. It is 10 years later and they are just starting an awkward relationship, so Susie--naturally an avid Sparklife reader--has asked Chelsea for clothing advice.”

Unjellify for her comment on the fun facts post:

“Other Gatsby fun fact: One title Fitzgerald considered was The High-Bouncing Lover, no lie, after the epigraph: "Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her; If you can bounce high, bounce for her too, Till she cry “Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,I must have you!” Maybe it's good they rejected that title; otherwise legions of trampoline fans would be bitterly disappointed by the book's subject matter.”

YorickLives for her comment on the 1D post:

“Every time the girl in the heart-shaped glasses blurt out, 'I feel like just a conformist' I want to trip her in a busy hallway.”

ThePurpleRavenclaw for her comment on the HG post:

“I think he could pull it off. Honestly, I'm just hoping that insanely awesome facial hair comes with the Head Gamemaker job. RIP Seneca Crane's beard.”

And to Equilibrium for this comment on the dads post:

“Right, I'm going to the dentist. Apparently the sweetness of those last few words have caused the plaque levels on my teeth to increase drastically and it's currently rotting one of my canines.”

Congrats, Friampions! Keep the comments coming!

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: sparklers, the friday awards, comments, friday awards, the internets, fridays

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at

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