When asked which book changed your life, you’ll probably pick a favorite book, or a book that got you through a difficult time. Maybe you’ll pick a book filled with great quotes, or you’ll lie and say Moby Dick because that’s what you’re supposed to say.
The book that changed my life is Twilight.
Twilight is a boring and silly book. It’s forgettable at its best and frustrating at its worst. There is nothing to be learned from the novel. There is no feeling of connection with the characters. If anyone said Twilight is their favorite book, I would feel sorry for them, because that means they had only ever read one book. Sad, really.
And yet Twilight changed my life.
Without Twilight, there would be no Blogging Twilight. And without Blogging Twilight, I would still be a sad writer who spent his days typing out 500-word reviews of computer monitors and headphones. Twilight gave me something to mock, and mocking Twilight is perhaps my most favorite thing to do with words.
It’s just so wonderfully awful!
There are so many things that made me laugh about the story, and SparkLife let me share my ramblings!
It was so much fun. Through all the times I flung the book against the wall, through all the baby-dating, through all the Alice, it was still fun to blog Twilight.
And think of all the wonderful things that came from the blogs!
“Back Dat Up Bella (Slap it, slap it)”
“My girlfriend thinks numbers stop at 10.”
The thinking lake
“This is about my soul, isn’t it?”
“You are my life now.”
Not to mention that creating the blogs taught me how to make amazing, heavenly drawings. Before Twilight, I had no idea I was such a talented artist.
And I loved getting wonderful messages from the SparkLife readers (both from those who liked the blogs and those who said I was a horrible person for making fun of Twilight). You guys made it even more awesome!
I want to erase my mind just so I can re-blog the series.
I want to meet Bella for the first time again and marvel at her inability to be satisfied. I want to be re-introduced to the Cullens so that I can ask once again, “Why the hell are they still in school?” I want to see Jacob turn into a werewolf again. I want to see Alice, just so I can smack the book against the floor and scream, “Die, you outlandish plot device! Die!”
There’s always the rumor that Stephenie Meyer will write another vampire book. If she does, I’ll happily and eagerly blog it. But nothing can compare to the ridiculousness of the Twilight series.
Oh Twilight...your words don’t make sense and I’m a better person for it.
Thanks, Stephenie Meyer.
You are my life now.
And to answer the question “What’s my favorite book?,” that list includes:
War and Peace
And my forthcoming book Dan Bergstein: The Official Novelization
Related posts: Blogging Twilight