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The Friday Awards: It's Time to Tour the Dungeons

The Friday Awards: It's Time to Tour the Dungeons

Sparklers, we regret to inform you that no one was able to correctly decode last week's secret message (though there were a few hilarious attempts). Not even after we gave you a clue.

But, for the curious. The secret message was "Bet you're wondering what's in the dungeons."

We're not sure if that makes us really bad at making secret messages, or you really bad at decoding them. Either way, we're sure someone needs to be punished...which is why we're taking what may or may not be a one-way trip to the SparkLife dungeons today!

*Ahem* Now if you'll please follow us, we're just going to walk down the slimy staircase to your right. Yes, through the heavy, ominous-looking door. Oh, and don't forget to prop it op—oh dear. We appear to be locked down here. Hmm...this might make for a long weekend.

Well, if we are going to be trapped in a dungeon, at least we have the Friwards!

Happy birthday to, Pianogirrl, JMKhungergamesfan, stylishsmartie, SecretSparkler, and Jessica3r.

The Username of the Week Award goes to KeepCalmAndEatSomeGoldfish.

The That Is the Coolest Thing Ever Award also goes to KeepCalmAndEatSomeGoldfish for her comment on the awe post:

“Once, a hot air balloon was in going over the field by my house and they dipped low by my window and waved at me while I was eating breakfast. I was like:what the what”

The You Know Us Too Well Award goes to iheartsomeone for her comment on the crush post:

“Alright. When I saw this post I was like ‘hmmmmm.. SL being realisitc?’”

The We’d Buy That Award goes to dac213 for her comment on this post:

“BAM! And this is random, but wouldn't it be cool if you could make GPS's sound like your favorite characters? Mostly because I want a Sherlock GPS:

-The direction in which you must turn is obvious. -sigh- Left. No, left! Why can't you just THINK??!!
-Text an ambulance, you're about to run into a tree.
-I can tell by your coat collar that you're going to miss that next exit.
-You didn't know to turn right before I said so because you're an idiot.

Okay, so maybe Sherlock would make a crappy GPS, but I stand by my idea.”

The Exclamation-Point War Award goes to sligers118 for her comment on the Potter vs. Doctor post:

“I happen to be a fan of both Doctor Who and Harry Potter, but you are perfectly entitled to your opinion of them, and I don't wish to argue with you.

However, I'm afraid I must object to the number of exclamation marks in your post. There are eighteen.

No one should be that excited, ever.

Thank you.”

The Book Can Totally Be a Verb Award goes to ThePensivePenseive for her comment on the tech post:

“This is excellent, especially the bits about getting outside and booking. Unfortunately, booking tends to make my sleep schedule (if possible) worse because then I just stay up late booking book after book.

I just did a stupid little experiment to see if "book" would make a good verb. Verdict: I sound ridiculous.”

The That's a Lot of Enemies goes to CrepuscularSnidget for her comment on the Bieber post:

“Asking SparkLife about what we think of Justin Beiber is like asking a manatee what it thinks of motorboats. Or asking snakes what they think of a mongoose. Or asking my grandma what she thinks of mac and cheese or anything with salt, fat, and flavor. Or asking Adam and Eve what they thought of the snake. Or asking my ears what they think of "Friday". Or asking T-Swizzle what she thinks of Kanye. Or asking the Spanish Armada what they think of the British fleet. Or asking Napoleon what he thinks of Elba. Or asking Dan what he thinks of Twilight.

I'll be here all day.”

And LOL points go to...

Sppowell for this comment:

“When I see someone and I introduce myself, I ask them, "Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one..."
If they get it, they are my new best friend.
If they don't, I say, "You have dirt on your nose. Did you know? Just there." Point and walk away, situation taken care of.”

Mistborn007 for his comment on the bandos post:

“They told me to find a girl, but why should I when I have a trumpet?
I spend money to make sure she has the best in everything, I make sure to always keep her well taken care of, I get to make out with her every day, and I spend inordinate amounts of time with her so we can perfect our relationship. Really, a girl would just get in the way of the love Bridget and I share.”

Bellatrix4ever for her comment on the  Perks trailer:

“I think they'll change everything in this movie. Charlie is going to find out he's the son of a long lost Greek god and has to team up with Sam, who is secretly a witch to defeat evil. Also, Patrick is their cheerleader.”

My-Fair-Googie for this comment:

“Last night I dreamed the good people of Blimey Cow (a show on youtube) decided they were going to put on a musical dressed in rodent costumes. I was in it and I was the lion....Well, at least I didn't have to wear the giant gopher head.”

Geronimoose for her comment on the Dear Albert post:

“OKAY NO. SAAAAAAM! Don't you know that taking a girl who ISN'T your girlfriend shopping is the number one way to get yourself friendzoned? TURN BACK, SAM! THERE'S STILL TIME!”

Kungfupanda298 for her comment on the perfume post:

“Finally I can just get a perfume instead of rolling around in the library!!! maybe they'll even lift my ban!” and “I just realized that I can now make my kindle smell like real books!!!!”

ChangingLanes for her comment on the MTV slideshow:

“Explanation for Andrew Garfield's facial expressions: He was looking at Elizabeth Banks'..... outfit-thing.”

District9andThreeQuarters for her comment on the Bieber post:

“Having only heard it once, the only thing I can say about it is that it's pretty catchy. And by Justin Bieber. (Queen of the Obvious, BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!)”

Think_inside_the_chimney for her comment on this Auntie post:

“If there's one thing I learned from Harry Potter, it's that the proper way to deal with an evil teacher is to lure her into the forest and let the centaurs deal with her.”

And for her elaborate plot on the 30s post:

“Did you know that, according to Wikipedia, the Ouija Board is a registered trademark of Hasbro? Yes, Hasbro, as in the makers of My Little Pony.

Hasbro has been making a lot of its toys and games into movies lately (like Transformers and Battleship). I've been hoping for a Friendship is Magic movie, but could you imagine a Ouija movie? Or even better, what if they combined a bunch of their games/toys into one movie? Just imagine if they made My Little Transformers: Ouiji is Magic. Decepticons are attacking Equestria. To stop them, Twilight Sparkle and her friends must use the magical Ouiji Board to learn where the Elements of Harmony are hidden. It turns out that the changeling queen, disguised as Princess Cadance, has managed to steal the Elements. Working together with the Autobots, the ponies use the power of friendship to retrieve the Elements of Harmony and save Equestria. At the end of the movie, Optimus Prime writes the following letter to the princess:

‘Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that the power of friendship is strong enough to defeat Decepticons. My little pony friends taught me that spontaneously bursting into song is important when trying to save the world. I learned that a clumsy pegasus with derpy eyes makes a powerful ally, and the magic of the princesses should not be underestimated.

Your faithful robot in disguise,
Optimus Prime’”

LuckyCharmsLizz for her comment on the inappropro crushes post:

“So I'm going to be a counselor at camp this summer, and my man candy of the moment is a section head (one rung above me). I'm 17. He's 22. The last day of camp is my 18th birthday. Someone told me that I should sprint across camp and yell "I'm legal!" and leap into his arms. Something tells me this is a bad idea?”

And to Team_Peeta_Mellark for her comment on the gullibility post:

“Haha when my sister was like 4 there was a bird that was eating seeds I had planted for flowers. She told me and I told her that the seeds would grow in his tummy and eventually he would explode and out came the flowers. It wasn't until recently she figured out it wasn't true. She's 13 now lol. Those were the good days.”

So, can anyone figure out the message this time?

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: awards, sparklers, the friday awards, sparklife, comments, friwards, friday awards, the internets

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at

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