Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Growing a big old moustache would make you look a lot more distinguished, particularly if you are female, in which case it would distinguish you like crazy. They say handsome is as handsome does, but after they say that, handsome people push them in the mud and then drive away in their limousines, so perhaps perhaps handsome people are a more valuable source of information on the subject. Carry around a can of mixed nuts that says "SPRING SNAKES" on the side this month. Instead of using any check marks, draw your own face. Instead of wearing any jewelry, wear moths. Your lucky moth is the Blotched Emerald.