A mysterious sound, like a car engine trying and failing to start, blares from the Hogwarts courtyard. The students and faculty of Hogwarts are in Hogsmead downing butterbeers. That is, except for Harry Potter and his friends. Harry, Ron, and Hermione rush to check out what made the sound. A blue police box materializes out of the air. Harry and his friends are nervous and surprised, and hold their wands at the ready. The door opens, and out steps a man in a tweed jacket and a bow tie, accompanied by red-haired girl and her husband. It’s the Doctor, Amy, and Rory. The fight is on. Who will win? Let’s look at the tale of the tape.
Weaponry – The Wand vs. the Sonic Screwdriver: The sonic screwdriver has a few different functions. It can repair and disrupt electrical equipment and it can open locks. Just by saying “Reparo” and “Alohamora,” Harry’s wand can perform the same tasks as the Doctor’s screwdriver. Along with every other spell it can cast.
Transportation – Firebolt vs. TARDIS: Harry Potter can accio his Firebolt when he needs it. The TARDIS is its own being. It can move through time and space. It is capable of manipulating the fabric of reality and even bestowing immortality. In short, the Firebolt never stood a chance.
Female Companion – Hermione vs. Amy Pond: Hermione is the unsung hero among the trio, and arguably the greatest wizard of the three. The fiery Pond has proven herself before by surviving in harsh conditions alone for decades. Still, Hermione would find an easy way to dispatch of Amy, perhaps with a well-placed stupefy spell.
Male Companion – Ron vs. Rory: Over the course of the series, Ron became a competent wizard that could hold his own in any fight. Rory, on the other hand, has died multiple times and waited thousands of years for Amy. If Amy is in danger, Rory is the most dangerous man in the universe.
The Wild Card – Neville Longbottom vs. River Song: Neville, the greatest character of the whole Potter series, wouldn’t be left out of a throwdown like this. Neville is the most experienced fighter of the Potter crew, and can hold his own against Death Eaters and werewolves. River is the most dangerous woman in the universe. She routinely breaks out of prison, travels through time, and handles herself on adventures. She was even trained from birth in the art of combat. She has both married and murdered the Doctor. Neville’s amazing, but River Song would take him down.
The Main Event – Harry Potter vs. The Doctor: Harry’s an experienced duelist, and even has experience with modern technology, something that most wizards can’t say. The Doctor has traveled all over the universe and seen just about everything. He’s older than Dumbledore, even. He has faced enemies that could manipulate reality way more severely than a teenager with a stick. Potter can play the hero, but the Doctor is a master strategist. The Doctor would find Harry's every weakness, and exploit them.
Overall: The Doctor 4, Harry Potter 2
Harry's able to mount quite a fight, but you can never beat a Time Lord.
Who do you think would win?