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The 5 Worst Things to Rant About on the Internet

The 5 Worst Things to Rant About on the Internet

I'm a big fan of the internet and what we can do with it, from connecting with people we haven't seen since we were five to watching videos of dogs that can't roll over. I even like engaging in lively debates with people I never have to meet face to face. In my time on the internet, however, I have come across five common rants that drive me crazy.

The "I miss the 90s": I was born in 1993. This does not, however, make me a 90s child. I am a child of the early 2000s. My favorite Backstreet Boys album was Millennium (which came out in 2000), I rode my Razor scooter all over the neighborhood, I watched Kim Possible, Even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, Spongebob Squarepants, and Jimmy Neutron—all of which came out between 1999 and 2002. I was a 90s baby, not a 90s kid. I spent the majority of the 90s as a fetus and then as a toddler, looking for clues with Steve and Blue. And yet, most of the people claiming to miss being a 90s kid are about my age. There is nothing wrong with being nostalgic, just make sure that you are remembering the right decade.

The "I hate ______": Whether it be Justin Bieber or Twilight, the internet is rife with arguments and rants trashing much of today's pop culture and crying for "real" music or "real" literature.  My question to these people is: Why are you wasting this time you have to think about and write about the things you claim to hate? I hate sunburns, slow walkers, the dentist, and I even have a slight fear of old people. I don't however, make up memes about them, write blogs about them, or yell at people who do like them. Why? Because I want to spend as little time thinking about them as I can. You aren't going to end Justin Bieber's career by calling him a girl on Facebook, nor are you going to prevent Stephenie Meyer from writing another book by writing a blog about how monkeys are better writers. Instead of trashing things you don't like, look for distractions in things you do like.

The "I'm so fat/ugly/etc": Fishing for compliments by calling yourself ugly or stupid is dumb. Stop it. All you're doing is making people feel awkward and guilty around you. If you want people to compliment you, do things worth complimenting. Help someone move, organize a fundraiser or charity run. That way people are bound to write all about it on Facebook and you can get compliments without having to resort to making people feel wildly uncomfortable.

The "I love you so much": If you love your significant other, whether you've been married for fifty years or dating for 2 days, tell them. Don't tell everyone else who has access to a computer and the internet. The rest of us don't really care.

The "Cause": There are lots of bad things in the world today. If you care about those things, do something about it. Raise money, volunteer, vote, conserve water, plant trees, or whatever. Don't, however, like a Facebook page, make your Skype picture a picture of Kony 2012, or write a blog about how much you care. By posting any of these things, all you are doing is letting other privileged people know that you have some knowledge about something bad that is happening somewhere.  What you should do is take your cause to the real world where you can actually do something about it.

Post by woktaker!

What's your least favorite rant?

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: facebook, sparkler posts, internet feuds, the internets, memes, rants

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