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Friendship Pickup Lines and Techniques

Friendship Pickup Lines and Techniques

By Anthony DeVito

Not everyone is desperate to stare deeply into a lover’s eyes under the pale moonlight. Some people just to want someone to see The Avengers with.

Finding a new friend can be even harder than finding a new relationship. Friends are usually made organically, but sometimes you’re thrown into a situation where you have to be a little more aggressive, and this can be tricky—you don't want to seem like you're hitting on this person, after all.

Here are some things to consider:

1. Don’t overemphasize that you're “not a creep” and you're “only looking for a new friend.” It will be taken in the complete opposite way and make the other person very uncomfortable. The first time I moved to a new city and didn’t know anyone, I was watching college football at a pub, really hit it off with this guy and got his phone number to hangout. I called him and he didn’t pick up, so I left a message seeing if he wanted to go to a concert. Which was a little forward, but okay. What’s not okay was in the message, over and over again, I kept saying that “I’m not looking to date anyone or anything like that.” He never called back, and I felt very weird about myself.

2. On the other hand, don’t hold back. Nothing is worse than putting up a front and then revealing your real personality when you actually get to know the person. When I was in Thailand, I made friends with a small group of English dudes and at first they seemed normal, then, a few hours later, I ended up in a pool hall surrounded by cats. Yeah, actual cats. Just make sure you’re both on the same page or else things can get very awkward—or very cool?—very fast, depending on how you look at it.

3. Find common ground. If you see something on their person or anything happens within the room that might be a good springboard for a conversation, use it. Memes, movies, and music are all good conversation-starters that could lead to more in-depth topics. Be careful, though, because having exterior things in common it’s way less important than a strong, real bond. Once, you’ve exhausted those everyday topics, dive head first into conspiracy theories, religion, and politics. Knock those out of the way just to make sure nothing comes up that you can’t see past.

These are all good things to keep in mind, but the hardest part is what exactly do you say when you’re ready to make the first move. Here are a few friendship pickup lines:

1: “Hey, did you see the game last night? Man, I didn’t think they were going to win, then, all of a sudden, they did!”

2: “I’m trying to settle a bet: Who is hotter, Ryan Gosling, or Joseph Gordon Levitt?”

3: “Dude, can you do me a favor? This is going to sound weird, but my ex-girlfriend is here and I don’t want her to think I’m a loser, so could you just act like we’re talking and having a good time, thanks.”

4: “This sucks.”

Now, if you’re too shy to meet someone in person, you might want to think about placing a craigslist ad for making a new friend. If you decided upon this, be cautious because sometimes “friend” might mean “person to take me hostage and sell me as a concubine.” Make sure that your intentions are very clear or else you could end up in a wooden crate being shipped in the back of an unmarked van to Mexico City.

Here’s an example of a Craigslist ad, feel free to change the specifics based on your geography:

Just Friends (Location)
Date: year-month-day
Reply: john@doe.com

I’m new in town and I’m looking for a friend. Keep in mind that my uncles are all cops and my father is a bounty hunter, so no funny stuff. I just need someone to hang out with and that’s it. If I were looking for naked people, I would have posted that. If you’re also looking for friendship, let me know, thanks. For seven months I didn’t see my father, then I later found out he was hunting Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, I guess it worked out, he got all these medals. Just saying.

Topics: Life
Tags: friendships, friends, awkward situations, pickup lines, craigslist

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About the Author
Anthony DeVito

Anthony DeVito is a NYC based comic. Originally from New Jersey, he was featured as one of the "New Faces" at the 2012 Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, recently taped a Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV, performed at the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and 2013 SF Sketchfest, and is also the former host of "Say What?!" on the NOC TV. You can follow him on Twitter @anthonydevito_

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