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The Worst Ways to Say No to Prom

The Worst Ways to Say No to Prom

By Melissa Albert

As you watch your anti-crush stand in the middle of the library singing the terrible song he wrote to ask you to prom, in which all the lyrics are also educational fun facts about North Dakota, you're only thinking one thing: How do I let this poor schmuck down easy? Beats us, but we're pretty sure these responses should be avoided:

"I'd love to go to prom! Wait, you mean with you? Oh, good lord, no!"

"Sorry, but you must be this tall to enter." (When he goes to check if he's tall enough, you karate-chop him in the face.)

"I'd totally say yes, but I'm already going...with...this guy!" *grabs random man walking past, or vaguely human-shaped trash can* "And we are in love!"

"Does prom fall on the solstice this year? Because if so, we'll need to break for a blood sacrifice. Are you a virgin? Because it has to be virginal blood. Hey, where are you going? What color boutonniere should I get??"

"I don't have time to get custom prom grillz made, and I can't do prom without custom grillz."

"Yes, you may go to prom with me, but first you must answer these questions three! The first question is the hardest one, and question two is less than fun. The third question may cause some confusion, as it covers the history of jazz fusion. Now is the start of questioning time, which will be conducted entirely in rhyme!" (By that point, he'll have thrown himself into an active volcano to avoid going to prom with you.)

"Wow. Huh. Hey, all right! Yeeeeeeep. Pow! Pow! *stares at him in silence for a count of 40* What time is it? I completely forgot what we were just talking about. Gotta go!"

(Grabs phone, pretends to dial) "Grandma? It's me. We just got asked to PROM! Of course you can have him for all the slow dances! I'll warn him about your trick arms, legs, and back."

How would you reject someone who asked you to prom?

Related Post: So He Asked You to Prom. Here Are 2o Ways to Say "No!" With Animals

Topics: Life, Guide to Prom
Tags: prom, rejection, high school, dances, guys, guide to prom, rejections, high school dances, talking to guys, prom 2012

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About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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