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4 Historical Moms Who Kicked Butt

4 Historical Moms Who Kicked Butt

Throughout history, moms have been doing whatever it takes to protect their kids and their homes...but these moms, well, they really take the cake.

Isabella of France: Also known by her unarguably badass moniker “the She-Wolf of France,” she was the queen consort of King Edward II. Now, let’s take a second and pretend your mom is called “the She-Wolf of France.” What would you get her for Mother’s Day? A bayonet? An ax to lop off the heads of her enemies? That second one would probably be most appropriate, considering that’s what wound up happening. When Edward and his friends took her land and her kids, she decided she couldn’t let a little thing like marriage vows stop her from killing the people that betrayed her. Fun fact: when she wasn’t busy having her enemies disemboweled and torn apart by dogs, she liked to help the sick and the needy. The She-Wolf was a complicated lady.

Dr. Sofie Herzog: Sofie was a female doctor in the U.S. at a time when female doctors were largely nonexistent. Since this was Texas in 1895 and people probably just shot passersby when things were getting quiet, she dealt with so many shootout victims that she made a necklace out of the bullets and wore it around her neck. Whenever she wasn’t pulling bullets out of people, taking care of her kids (she gave birth to fifteen), and building her own hotel, Sofie liked to skin rattlesnakes. You know, for fun. Even as a widow living alone, she refused to carry a gun, but we can assume this is because Sofie McBadass could shoot guided missiles out of her fingertips.

Grace O'Malley: You’ve heard of soccer moms, but what about Irish pirate moms? Grace O'Malley was a seafaring tradeswoman turned pirate, and she basically flipped Queen Elizabeth I the bird because the English had jailed her sons and half-brother. Grace went marching straight into Greenwich Castle and had a meeting with the Queen herself. Despite refusing to bow to the Queen, concealing a dagger, and tossing a noblewoman’s handkerchief into the fire, the spunky rebel struck a chord with Queen Elizabeth (who was totally cool about everything and even found the handkerchief thing amusing) and they were able to make a deal.

Rani Lakshmi Bai: Because swords, bows and arrows, and muskets are the tools of the badass mom’s trade, Lakshmi learned how to use all of those things before most of us learned how to ride without training wheels. Having lost her son and her husband, the king of Jhansi, Lakshmi decided to adopt another son who could be heir to the throne. When the British got wind of this, they saw it as an opportunity to expand their empire and kicked both Lakshmi and her son out of the royalty club. Long story short, revolution was in the air and battles were fought. Some sources say that Lakshmi could be seen riding into battle to kick butt all over India with one sword per hand, her infant son on her back, and the reigns in her teeth—and if that’s not the most badass thing you’ve heard all day, your life is probably an actual, literal action movie.

Who's your favorite historical mom?

Related Post: Moms Through the Ages

Topics: Uncategorized, Life, Mother's Day
Tags: history, mothers, moms, kick-ass, mother's day, historical figures

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