When it comes to jobs, mine is basically the coolest job in the entire world. Hands down. Why is that? Because I work at SparkNotes, that magical land of leather-bound classic books, amazing smart AND funny people, and huge freezers full of cheese wheels (in other words, heaven).
And, since I am SURE that you're all dying to know what it's like to work with the Sparkitors and every other awesome person on the planet, here's the answers to five frequently asked questions that I may or may not have just made up.
Q: What is it like to work with Emma, Emily, and Chelsea (the Sparkitors)?
A: It's kind of a mixture of feelings of awe and inadequacy—kind of like how when you meet really smart people, you're simultaneously amazed by them and also dying to try to sound like you're at least 50% as intelligent as they are. Working with the Sparkitors and Sploggers ... it's like learning to ride a unicorn. It's amazing and fun and you never want it to end, but at the same time you feel like surely there has to be someone else out there more worthy than you.
Q: What do you even do there?
A: I usually spend my time at the office swallowing rainbows whole while reciting knock-knock jokes backward and jumping on an enormous trampoline. Also, I answer emails and edit things and work on being a better slave to the Sparkitors.
Q: How did you get so lucky?
A: Well, I was once a Sparkler like you (you may or may not remember me as jgrudzy). I started contributing regularly, so when I packed off to college in the big city of Supercoolio-topia (that's where the SparkNotes headquarters is), I somehow got interviewed for the job! Yeah, I'm STILL not sure how I got this lucky.
Q: What is the SparkNotes office like?
A: Imagine spending the day at a theme park. The SparkNotes office is sort of like that, except completely different. (For instance, instead of being horridly overpriced, the snacks here are free.) Basically, the Sparkitors sit at their desks and do awesome things like raise baby hippos, the tech team waves their magic wands and make the site work, and I sit in my cage and try to be cool.
Q: Will you just get fired already so I can have your job?
A: I'm pretty sure they Sparkitors would've fired me a long time ago, but they lost the key for the chains that keep me locked to my desk. So, instead they're forced to feed me on peanuts and Diet Coke, throw work at me every once in a while, and glue fake unicorn horns to my forehead in an attempt to make me at least a little more awesome.