What, in the name of all banana hammocks in Christendom, is "Party Rock?" No man can say for sure. But if you should happen upon a passerby who cannot immediately inform you that "Party Rock is in the house tonight," then said passerby is a Cylon, or Amish, or a recently resurrected Civil War general blighted by the confounding dark magic of radio broadcasts (a.k.a. "Devil Farts").
We all indulge the songs of summer because we have to. There's no escape. They're in our cars, in our TV shows, in our Internets and in the deepest, most indelible Obsession Receptors of our mind goo. At first, that's kind of depressing. But friends, it doesn't have to be!
Summer songs, however frustrating or pointless, bind us together with a power rivaled only by national disasters and J.K. Rowling activity. They are cultural forces, freebie conversation starters and the only reason this post could possibly be funny. So lets briefly remove our Superfluous Hipster Goggles of Tune-Snobbery and attach instead our James Lipton Beards of Ponderous Analysis. Summer's around the bend, it's carrying a big wobbly water balloon of hooks, choruses and unforgettable lyrics about jiggly wiggly bits. Here's 5 predictions for this year's Song of Summer:
1. Call Me Maybe
This perfect cute-storm by Carly Rae Jepsen is so catchy even Vader's on the bandwagon. From the soft plucks of that opening string arrangement to the sweetly naive chorus there's an undeniable crushability to Carly Rae's puppylove pop. And, like the chart-topping goons of LMFAO before her, Carly Rae maintains a sense of humor about her obsess-worthy ballad, delivering a straight-face recitation of head-scratching lyrics like "before you came into my life I missed you so bad" and dropping some fake harlequin romance (plus a wicked twist ending) in the song's official video. Get used to it, maybe?
2. Something else by fun.
As yearbook-signing season picks up, expect to hear plenty more of fun.'s marry-the-night triumph, "We Are Young." But given its already 19-week Billboard chart longevity, plays will probably peter in the coming months. Luckily, fun. has a whole album of like-minded anthems, and another fist-pumping, youth-validating single should be here soon. What'll it be? Dunno. But the layered, Freddie-Mercurized chorus to "Some Nights" lends itself particularly well to late-night minivan sing-alongs.
3. Light Up The Sky
On the subject of giddy minivan karaoke, pop pepper Duncan has a few words for you. Basically, "party like a spoiled MTV 16-year-old." And honestly, you should. Cause you're better than them.
4. Disparate Youth
Brooklyn beat baroness Santigold just released her second album Master of My Make-Believe to strong reviews, but has yet to chart it. As she tours the album around the festival and Internet buzz circuits there's no reason leading single "Disparate Youth" shouldn't snag some massive airplay. The themes of youngin's controlling the future coincides nicely with the meteoric rise of electronic dance music of late, plus, the intro riff is basically a rip-off of Drake's "Headlines." And Drake did ok.
5. Best Song Everrr
This cooky club binge by Wallpaper may be a little more relevant to the college-bound and beyond, but admit it: you've heard it, and you hate it. Then you heard it again and hated it a little less. The honking horns! The choose-your-own adventure lyrics! The bro love! The Spanglish! This is the next "Party Rock Anthem." It's in the house tonight. It's the tipsy prom king in a soiled tuxedo, and there's nothing you can do but learn the lines and get started on those ironic YouTube covers.
Indie outlier: Alabama Shakes, "Hold On"
We just wanted to throw this on here because it deserves summer obsession status, whether or not these roots rockers and soul sisters from Athens, AL see any Billboard fame. If the Black Keys can sell out festivals with upbeat blues revivalism, then the Shakes should just be dubbed Southern Lords of Music right now.