Mother's Day is almost here, and you know what that means: Mom will be expecting a nice, long, meaningful momversation (and no, texting doesn't count—you have to call her!). But conversations with your mom can be complicated, not to mention fraught with landmines like sex, grades, and when you're finally going to get around to cleaning out your closet.
I, for one, was a dramatic kid, so most conversations with my mom in my teen years ended with me yelling, "I hate you! I wish I was never born!" and throwing myself on my bed like it was a funeral pyre. (Er, sorry, Mom.) If only I'd had these pointers, I would have saved both of us a lot of grief and my dad a lot of trips up the stairs to take my bedroom door off the hinges.
* Ask about extended family. For example, "How is Great Aunt Bertha doing these days? Did she ever get those bunions removed?"
* Casually mention an award you've recently won (real or not-so-real). For example, "We went out for pizza the other night after my dorm named me Recycler of the Month."
* Talk about a book you've been reading. For example, "So, Team Peeta or Team Gale?"
* Diffuse the relationship bomb. For example, "You know, I really haven't had time to meet someone what with all the volunteering I've been doing. Those orphanages aren't gonna build themselves!"
* Ask about her life. For example, "So what happened on NCIS last night?"
* Ask about her past life (not that kind of past life). For example, "What did you do for fun when you were my age?"
* Flatter her. For example, "What delicious and healthy yet budget-friendly fare are you whipping up for dinner tonight?"
* Deflect attention to your siblings. For example, "My grades are—oh, did you hear [insert sibling's name] is thinking about getting his/her [insert body part] pierced?"
* Listen to what she has to say. For example, "...."
* When in doubt, talk about the weather. For example, "How about that rain storm last night!"
* Tell her you love her. For example, "I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything you've done for me."
And cue tears.
Are you a good conversationalist? Leave your pointers in the comments!