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Real Things We've Done to Avoid Being Hit On

Real Things We've Done to Avoid Being Hit On

By Valerie Burn

Getting hit on is the worst. Not because the guys are gross or we’re sooo modest, but it’s just really uncomfortable. Perhaps we need to learn how to take a compliment, but all we can hear is STRANGER DANGER when someone tries to flirt with us. We tend to look around the room, panicked, and close our eyes until it’s over. We don’t mean to be ungrateful, but we’d just rather be courted the old-fashioned way: from far away, by non-strangers, in the comfort of our homes. Additionally, awesome people never hit on us. Only weirdos.

We recently chronicled some of the Best and Worst Catcalls of All Time. Now, we move on to the weird things we’ve done to avoid being hit on.

  • Said I was engaged. I think I was about 19 at the time, and surreptitiously moved my $6 ring to the proper finger, before proudly holding it up. “See? Engaged. His name is…. Michael or something. Mood rings are the new diamonds.”
  • Said I didn’t speak the language. However, this can backfire if your suitor also speaks that language. This happened while I was in Spain. Even though I spoke Spanish, I said, “I don’t know Spanish!” He proceeded to attempt to woo me in English. Learn from my mistake: say nothing and just look confused.
  • Said I was dating my friend. Grab the nearest hand, that’s not the weirdo talking to you, and be like, “THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND, we are very much in love, can’t you tell we have undeniable chemistry, it was so nice to meet you.”
  • Said I was looking to get married. Not to play up the while “men can’t commit” cliché, but this is probably the most effective. When a guy hits on you, just throw out the m-card. Be like, “My mom was just bothering me about settling down today! I’d really like to get married and start a family, within a year.”
  • Just ignored the person talking to me. Most normal people get the hint if you simply don’t respond. When someone saddles up next to you and asks, “What brings you here?” just look anywhere but the person. The floor, the ceiling, your hands, your phone… looking like you forgot something in your purse and digging through it is also particularly persuasive.
  • Belched. Warning: Try at your own risk. Some people like this.
  • Paid them a weird compliment. Such as, “You remind me of my grandma,” or “You remind me of one of the dads on 16 and Pregnant.”
  • Just said no. Another effective means is to respond to everything with “no.” How are you doing? No. What brings you here? No. That’s a nice shirt. No.

What would you do to get out of an uncomfortable flirting situation? What’s the worst you’ve done?

Topics: Life
Tags: relationships, flirting, dating, crushes, awkward situations, funny things

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About the Author
Valerie Burn

Valerie Burn is a very cool Midwestern lady. She has lived in tons of exciting places, such as Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan. She spends her free time snuggling her beautiful, perfect dog Teddy, and reading the entire internet every day. Valerie enjoys eating things, buying things, and writing things, as well as watching terrible TV.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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