Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You will embark on a new endeavor this month, Aquarius, but it will be something terrible like a llama farm or a yarn ball. You will also narrowly avoid trouble this month, but it will be trouble for someone else, like accidentally tripping your mortal enemy into a pristine display case marked EXQUISITE GLASS PIES. You will achieve your destiny this month, because technically anything can be your destiny, like "you are destined to go to the bank" or "your are destined to eat a bug." You will discover what your lucky fish is this month. Your lucky fish is the Bonnetmouth.