My Mom Taught Me Everything I Know About Boob Jokes
I vividly remember that when I was a child, my mom repeated the phrase, “men are ayotta stupey, women are ayotta smart.” (Note: she used babytalk because I was, basically, a baby, and because she probably wanted to offend my father less.) My mom made sure I never forgot this gender rule. She instilled it in my blood. While that one phrase of wisdom has stuck with me, my mom has really taught me so much about the importance of humor and speaking the truth.
I personally pride myself on being somewhat, if not completely, hysterical and I think it’s a trait I inherited from my mom. Some girls get their grace, their elegance, or the best recipes from their mother; I instead inherited a propensity to share TMI and a sense of self-deprecating humor—with jokes mostly centering on having big boobs and a weak bladder. These are two other amazing things I have gotten from her. Thanks, Mom. You’re really the best.
When I was first started college, I began writing for the newspaper, mostly covering political events and other government affairs. While that was all good, what I really wanted was my own humor column. I remember telling my mom about it and asking her for advice. What would I write about it? Would it be funny? Could I really think of interesting things to write about each week? I asked my mom all of those questions because that's what I always do—even in my mid-twenties, I run EVERYTHING by her. Shopping for an outfit without her bums me out because she is the only person who is honest with me. She’ll tell me that my butt looks huge in that pleated skirt, or that my boobs look like a smushed loaf of bread in that blouse. Really, she actually says that type of stuff.
When I asked my mom about the column, she was extremely supportive and excited about this opportunity. She had already provided me with plenty of material—I'd learned a lot by observing her day-to-day activities and hearing her funny observations on life and the crazy people around her. No topic has ever really been off-limits for my mom, and while she’s very funny, she is even more honest and genuine. Reflecting on it now, I think honesty and genuineness are the best qualities she’s instilled in me. And she’s taught me that the best comedy is the stuff based on the truth.
When I was writing my audition columns, my mom suggested I write about bra shopping, among other good ideas. I bet if you asked her, she wouldn't really remember this day or even the article that came out of it. It’s not like this changed the course of her life, but it certainly affected mine. That column became mine, that article was printed, and I became a more hilarious person, and even more importantly, a woman unafraid to speak her own true thoughts and share her own opinions. And now that I’m grown up, I realize why I thought that “women are ayotta smart” saying was so funny—because it’s SO true.
Is your mom hilarious? Leave her best jokes on the comments!
Related post: 10 Things My Mom Always Always Says