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Things You Shouldn't Attempt Yourself

Things You Shouldn't Attempt Yourself

By Lucy Hutchinson

It is fairly obvious that there are some things you shouldn't do unless you are a trained professional. Open heart surgery, for example, or fire juggling; if you find yourself requiring either of these things in your everyday life, it's best to call on someone who knows what they're doing. But with some other activities it is less clear that the average person shouldn't attempt them. Creativity and new experiences are all very well, but some things are really hard. You might see other, seemingly ordinary folk doing these things and think "Hey, that doesn't seem so difficult! I bet I could make an origami reindeer too!" You have been warned.

Other things you shouldn't attempt yourself

Crochet

"Take this small plastic stick and six pounds of colored yarn, and follow me!" crochet enthusiasts urge. They will then do something quick and indescribable with the stick and the yarn in the palm of their hand and emerge with a stylish poncho. Spurred on by the thought of your own glamorous creation, you try to copy them. Fourteen hours later, when you've finally chewed your way out of the enormous knot of yarn wrapped around your head, you can tell them exactly where to put their crochet stick.

Volleyball

"Take this lightweight ball and your own two fists, and score points, somehow!" volleyball fans shout. A game that involves punching a ball over a net combined with moving around in a simple square formation might sound appealing, but you're going to wish your head was still wrapped in crochet yarn when the ball rebounds off the kid in front of you and smacks you square in the face.

Recipes

"Take some cilantro and bits of a sheep and trick people into eating it!" culinary experts shriek. Some people have a knack for inventive cooking. Other people don't. Only you know which category you are in, but if you've ever tried to create a meal using the contents of a room which is not the kitchen, you might be in the latter. Club Sandwich Puree ("it's soup AND a sandwich!") might sound good in theory, but when you serve it to your unsuspecting friends and minutes later they are vomiting into each other's pockets, not even your toothpaste-coated pretzels will save the day.

Ukuleles

"Take this miniature guitar and make it sound good!" ukulele nerds insist. The ukulele might seem like a less intimidating version of the guitar, and something that you can easily pick up in a weekend, but don't be fooled. The difference between playing a guitar badly and playing a ukulele badly is like the difference between walking a sleek German shepherd and walking a chihuahua with a skin disease. One will make you look cool regardless. The other is small and makes weird noises when you touch it.

What else should be on the Do Not Attempt list?

Topics: Life
Tags: annoying things, hobbies, difficult things

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