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10 Things My Mom Always Always Says

10 Things My Mom Always Always Says

By Lauren Passell

What better way to kick off our Mother's Day celebration than with some mom-ish quotes!?

1. I need another coat like I need a hole in my head. You would think this means she doesn't need a new coat, but she always says it right before she buys a new coat, so I don't know.

2. You need to find a boyfriend. I can't be your boyfriend. When I didn't have a boyfriend she would worry that I was using her for the emotional support I should have with a boyfriend. But you know what? Moms make great boyfriends, minus the kissing on the lips stuff.

3. Guess how much I got these boots for on Ebay? My mom loves to play this game "guess how much I spent" and she calls me at all hours to play. I never win. She never gets tired of it.

4. You are way too much like your father. She usually says this when I am being a jerk, so I think she means it's a bad thing. But I always take it as a compliment.

5. The cat has run away and he's never, ever coming back. Mom, he always always comes back. Always.

6. Polka with me. The lady loves to Polka (she doesn't know how to Polka), and she always makes me Polka with her when the appropriate song starts playing in a social setting. (I don't know how to Polka.) I don't enjoy doing it, but with all that she has done for me, I figure galloping around in her arms to Roll Out The Barrel at a cousin's wedding once a year isn't going to kill me.

7. Get those Cheez-Its away from me. My mom has a love/despise relationship with Cheez-Its. She loves them so much she can never, ever eat them. Because she can only eat them in quantities large enough to feed an entire NHL team.

8. I cleaned my closet today. And it took all day. It seems like she is always cleaning her closet. And she is the only person I know who has all day to do it. Sometimes I think it'd be fun to follow her around all day because... what on earth does she do? Not to say she does nothing, but I think she spends an ungodly amount of time looking at funny pictures of cats wearing monacles and organizing her DVD collection.

9. You should wear more _______. She is always the one to say "that looks ridiculous on you" and "you should wear more Peter Pan collars." And, don't tell her I said this, but she is usually right.

10. You're pretty. And I'm always like, you're just saying that because you're my mom. Then I'm like, oh wait. You're just saying that because I look just like you.

What does your mom always always say?

Topics: Life, Mother's Day
Tags: family, quotes, moms, mother's day

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