So suppose you haven't read anything about Prometheus, except that Ridley Scott directed it. No Wikis. No IMDB. No E! Nothing. Then you watch the almost-three-minute "international launch trailer" that was posted on the internets yesterday:
Here's what we can safely assume the movie is about:
Prometheus, an "exploratory vessel," lands on a gray, empty looking planet, which already looks scary as all get-out.
Charlize Theron is a no-nonsense administrator wearing a gray paper bag. She leads a very important meeting (in a VFW basement?) that will explain the plot of the movie. A handsome guy and an attractive woman with a Danish accent explain that (a) several ancient civilizations painted the same stick-figures on their cave walls, and (b) they were probably just copying SOMEONE ELSE (!)
(Could that SOMEONE ELSE live on a forbidding gray planet? Was Prometheus chained to a rock so his liver could be eaten by a vulture? We're gonna say yes to both).
Charlize Theron, in a private conversation, orders the attractive couple to not engage "the beings." The hotties are skeptical. Office politics are a-brewing!
The team members put on vintage scuba gear and explore a very sketchy cave, where they immediately encounter some organic looking plasma. This turns into a worm. No, wait, a sprout. It's harmless! No, wait—it's melting that guy's face.
If there's one thing we can conclude from bloody handprints, exploding liquids, and scared dudes staring into their own dilated pupils, it's that everything goes terribly wrong. We're guessing The Beings end up boarding the ship (or infecting the crew members, or at least giving them GI issues), and then everybody starts dying off, one by one. But if there's one other thing we can be sure of, it's that the plucky young woman with the awesome haircut (Noomi Rapace) is going to muddle through, just like strong female protagonist Sigourney Weaver before her.
"We were so wrong!" Noomi Rapace wails.
Yeah, we're guessing those guys should listen to her. We're also guessing that they don't, right away.
Now it's pretty awesome to see a planet splitting apart, and colossal spaceships bursting out of the ashen landscape, and guys' heads get turned inside-out. But honestly, We want to know why Noomi Rapace is inching down a corridor with a giant fireman's axe. That's the one thing the trailer doesn't spoil, and man, we can't wait to see what she does with it.
Oh, and the guy screaming, "CUT IT OFF!"
That just makes you tingle, doesn't it?
In short, Prometheus is probably just Alien mixed with Alien 3 with the soundtrack to Inception. If you're going to rehash on old idea, that sounds like a recipe for awesome.
Oh, and one more thought:
"CUT IT OFF!"
Over and out.
Are you as psyched as we are to see Prometheus?