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Would You Wear This Jewelry?

Would You Wear This Jewelry?

By Kathryn_Williams

When we first heard about Ke$ha wearing a necklace her mother made from her ground-up placenta, we were kind of—what's the word—HORRIFIED. Or there was the time Angelina Jolie became famous for wearing a vial of her then-husband Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck. We were like, oh right, of course you're wearing someone's B-positive as a necklace. Why wouldn't you?

But then we realized... you know why people wear weird jewelry? Because they're sick of talking about their total lack of regard for the alphabet and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Weird jewelry is a conversation starter. Why else would someone wear a bracelet that could disembowel you or, you know, eye jewelry (yes, jewelry you put IN your EYE)? A Mockingjay pin is so yesterday (literally, we wore it yesterday). Sport this crazy bling—all available on Etsy (while supplies last)—and you'll be the life of the party in no time.

Moose Doo Doo Necklace
You: "Oh these? They're just a pair of real moose doo doo nugget earrings my great-uncle Ted who lives in Maine gave me for my sixteenth birthday. He mined the diamonds himself. And the poop!"

Delete Ring
You: "It doesn't really make sense until I flick someone off."

Eye of Newt Necklace
You: "Are you not wearing your toe of frog ring? Too bad. We almost had an invincibility spell going there for a second."

Axe and Handsaw Earrings
You: "The last guy who asked me about these earrings is missing a pinky finger. Just sayin'..."

Ouija Bracelet
You: "You mean your deceased ancestors don't speak to you through your jewelry? Hmm. That's odd."

Brain Necklace
You: "Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. I wear my brain around my neck." *shrug*

Lightbulb Pendant
You: "If I lick my fingers and touch my necklace and an electrical socket, I light up like a Christmas tree."

Muskrat Bone Earrings
You: "Funny story about Muskrat Susie and Muskrat Sam..."

Crazy Statement Necklace
You: "This old thing? Oh, I just found it in the back of my closet."

Grass Studs
You: "I fertilize once a week, but I have to water them twice a day."

Evil Eye Pendants
You: "Do you ever feel like somebody's watching you?"

Now taking orders!

Related post: The Time Kat Pierced Her Own Ears

Topics: Fashion
Tags: weird things, etsy, jewelry

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About the Author
Kathryn_Williams

Kathryn Williams is the author of three YA novels but only one with an Oxford comma in the title. She is a Taurus and hates writing bios. Check out her website, www.kathrynswilliams.com, and follow her on Twitter @kathrynwauthor.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.