Sometimes, as a native Australian, people don't understand me when I'm talking to them in the bonza ol' U.S. of A. And it is true that occasionally I try to get in the driver's seat when a taxi pulls over to pick me up. And that I have tried, once or twice, to climb into a deer's pouch for a joyride. (You know what's weird? Deer don't have pouches.) More frequently, my requests for a "good pash" are met with blank stares. WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME, AMERICA?!
In an effort to smooth over our relationship, I offer the following insider communique regarding top secret Aussie lingo, the way we really speak it in the homeland (which lies a little ways beyond the strip mall Outback Steakhouse restaurant). For conversational prowess, I offer a brief example of standard bogan dialogue after each entry, so put on your thongs, sit your dates down and study with me! Dare you to try speak Australian, dingoes!
Boot = trunk. “Sounds like a wallaby is jumping around inside the boot.”
Bonnet = hood of the car. “Let’s take a look under the bonnet.”
Carpark = parking lot. “I’m stuck in the carpark. Found a possum under the bonnet.”
Footpath = sidewalk. “I guess I’ll walk home on the footpath, seeing as my car is kaputt.”
Sausage sizzle = barbecue. “What’s this! A sausage sizzle right when a hungry bloke needs a pick-me-up.”
Sanger = sandwich. “Two sausage sangers, please.”
Booner curls = where the hair at the nape of the neck gets long and starts to curl. “Check out the booner curls on the guy with the tongs!”
Bogan = redneck. “Choice mullet on the bogan manning the lamington stall.”
Stevo = Steve. “Hold on, that’s Stevo! Maaaate, what are chances of a free lammo?”
Johnno = John or Jonathan. “Dunno, Johnno. Looks like you have your hands full with your sanger right there.”
Bodgy = not right. “Aw, come on, buddy, I walked here, my car’s all bodgy.”
Bingle = prang. “What happened, you get into a bingle?”
Chuck a wobbly = lose your cool. “Nah, possum under the bonnet. Almost chucked a wobbly over it.”
Date = butt. “No way! Hey, sit your date down for a minute.”
Shindig = party. “Sure thing, this is a good shindig.”
In the nuddy = in the nude. “Btw, I was at the cricket and someone streaked across the field totally in the nuddy.”
Rello = relative. “Choice! Wasn’t a rello of yours, was it?”
Budgie smugglers = Speedo. “Haha, nah, unless they were wearing budgie smugglers, in which case it could have been my dad.”
Spag bol = spaghetti bolognese. “Your dad might like a tiny cossie, but he does make a mean spag bol.”
Arvo = afternoon. “How good is this arvo?”
Pash = kiss. “Couldn’t be better than if some sheila randomly gave me a pash.”
Icy pole = popsicle. “Don’t like your chances. Want an icypole instead?”
Root = have sex. “Did you hear that Ryan Gosling is rooting Eva Mendes?”
Flamin’ galah = idiot. “You’re a flamin’ galah, have you been reading US Weekly again?”
Trash mag = tabloid magazine. “Nothing wrong with reading my sister’s trash mags.”
Doona = quilt. “Except when you sneak them into your room and read them under your doona like you’re embarrassed.”
Bonza = great! “That section ‘Celebrities are just like us’ is bonza.”
Esky = cooler. “Any Fantas in that esky?”
Thong = flip flops. “Sure, if you get your thongs off it.”
Hold up: the word for "butt" is date?! Our minds=blown. What's your favorite Aussie slang?
Topics: Life
Tags: kissing, english, slang, funny things, australian, dingo, possum, pash
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