A Geek's Guide to Not Getting Bullied
I know being a geek is fun, but it's also difficult; us geeks have to worry about things like getting beaten up after school because we accidentally sat at the jocks' table in the cafeteria. Having moved around a lot and been a part if the geek culture at many different schools, I’ve come up with a couple suggestions to help my fellow nerds and dweebs avoid being bullied.
1. Never ever say the S word out loud. Or the E word, definitely never say the E word.
There is nothing an average or not-so-average student hates more than those two words: Easy and Stupid. Particularly if they have just finished a test that they think they failed, and some nerdy kid (aka you) is screeching “That test was so easy, I was offended,” or perhaps “You’d have to be stupid to fail that quiz.”
I know that you could have passed that quiz in your sleep, and in your mind, you’d really have to be brain-dead to mistake TRNA for MRNA. Unfortunately, the rest of the world isn’t as well-endowed in the brains department as you, and they do not want to be reminded of it. How would you feel if every day in PE, Tommy Muscles complained about how easy 50 wind sprints were, while you were still huffing and puffing on your 8th?
2. Do not share or complain about your test scores.
Pretend you're a spy, and that test score in front of you is Top Secret information only for the eyes and ears of other agents (aka Fellow Geeks). Because if any non-geek gets word that you scored a 104 on that Calc test where the class average was a 58, you’re probably dead meat. Seriously. People are just way too jealous to handle that kind of amazing power. Want to know what will get you into worse trouble? Complaining about a test score. I know, I know, to you it doesn’t get much worse than an 83. In fact, that 83 makes you want to burst into tears. However, theboy who sits next to you in class would kill for an 83, and he doesn't not want to hear you complaining about it like it’s the end of the world (even though I know it actually is).
3. Help people. Patiently.
Your brain is a gift, and you know it. Can anyone else recite that monologue from Hamlet? No, of course not. Now use that special gift for good. Help that girl next to you understand her science homework, instead of secretly mocking her in your head for being so s-word-you-just-removed-from-your-vocabulary. However, do it patiently and simply. If you get frustrated or confuse her, you probably just increased your chance of being bullied by 30%. But if done correctly, soon you will be your Chem class’s favorite person.
4. Don’t correct people.
Trust me, I know what it’s like to hear someone say a sentence with grammar so bad it makes you want to cry. Or what it’s like to hear someone butcher the pronunciation of your favorite author’s name. I also know that correcting it helps mend that little tear that just formed in your heart. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Every time you correct someone, they put you on the Do Not Like list in their head (not their Extremely Helpful list). This rule takes more restraint than walking into a bookstore with $100 and being told you can only spend $30, but I know you can do it. I have faith in you, Sparklers!
5. If all else fails: Pretend to be dumb.
So you don’t like any of the rules? Fine. An alternative is to sacrifice your intelligence on the altar of society. You see, my sister is a brilliant genius, but she noticed that most people weren't responding that well to her smarts. Instead of following the above rules, she played dumb. Mind you, you have to be really smart to play dumb, because in order to avoid the right answers you have to know what they are. She still gets straight As, but most people think she's a ditz. I definitely do not suggest trying this option, but if you really want to, my sister suggests practicing with the following line: “So that’s what a zebra is!"
Post by Rachel!
Have you ever used any of these tips to avoid being bullied?