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What To Do When You Can't Sleep

What To Do When You Can't Sleep

By Sissy

Generally, those ZZZs comes easy to you, but once in a while, you just can’t coax yourself to fall into the arms of sleep. You clamp your eyes shut, refusing to open them up for any reason. You toss and turn, trying to fight off your alertness. You count sheep. You try deep breathing and meditation. Nothing works.

Don't despair! Here’s a list of things to do when you just. can’t. sleep.

  • Lie on the floor and do sit ups. Might as well get cut if you can’t get sleep, right?
  • Attempt to write that English paper you have on Thoreau. Sometimes, you sound more articulate when you're delirious.
  • Send a text message to a friend, thereby waking her up. Ask her if you can come over to re-watch the Harry Potter movies.
  • Try to think of all 50 capital cities—YEAH, it’s a party in the USA.
  • Check out Miley’s Twitter. Better yet, correct her grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
  • Once you’ve entirely given up on the notion of ever getting some rest, head to the kitchen and brew an entire pot of coffee—you're going to need it. While you’re there, pack an amazing lunch for school to amp you up later. Then raid your parents' fine cheese selection to create a mini-cheese platter. That brie, some grapes, apple slices, and mixed nuts will make a delicious snack.
  • Why not make chocolate chip cookies? Well, their beautiful smell just might seep into the noses of your family members, causing them to sleepwalk to the kitchen, open the oven, and reach for a 400 degree cookie. Warning: Sleep eating is a real epidemic…haven’t you ever watched TLC?
  • Speaking of The Learning Channel, at this hour there’s sure to be a “Hoarding” marathon for you to catch. If not, tune into “Addicted” and watch that poor girl eat her own couch cushions. Please don’t consider adding couch cushion cubes to your gourmet lunch.
  • Could your room use a cleaning? What excuse do you have now? You definitely aren’t too tired. Don’t overdo it, though. If your mom is impressed by your insomnia-caused cleaning, she may start slipping caffeine pills into your dinner.
  • Read a book. We’re pretty sure your mom has a copy of 50 Shades of Grey under the sink in the bathroom should you need one…
  • Build a fort. Maybe if you construct a fortress out of blankets and pillows, sleep will finally fall upon you.
  • Write on ode to sleep. Drum up weird ways to describe sleep—how it feels, how it sounds, tastes, and smells. Anyone else think of hamburgers when we said that? Leave the ode on your pillow, so that tomorrow night is not as rough.

What do you do when you can’t sleep? Do you eat things, IM friends, or watch movies? Or do you will yourself into darkness? Let us know!

Related post: How to Fall Asleep

Topics: Life
Tags: sleep, sleeping, insomnia, lists

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About the Author
Sissy

Sissy is a woman/girl who lives, works and eats too much popcorn on the north side of Chicago. Bet you couldn't guess that her real name is actually not Sissy, but it's what her family likes to call her by. Also, She's loud and is very glad you can't hear her.

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