Shakespeare's Birthday Twitter Feed

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It's our man Will Shakespeare's birthday! Dude was mad prolific, plus he had a HUGE KNACK for zingers, which would make make for some pretty karate Tweets. Also, it's no secret that the bard got the odd hankering for nachos. A sage look at the playwright's knowing Twitter feed on his birthday:

@willshakespeareeatthecake: He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man, and he that hath an ironic moustache is a hipster.

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Ho! Dear pizza stain, once more into the bleach!

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of salsa and flan, signifying nachos.

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Out, damn Spotify! #supportartists

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Brevity is the soul of wit; also, fart jokes

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Her lips, two blushing Pizza Pockets #hungryforakiss

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. Some with interpretive jazz dance.

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, that I might get back my frisbee, which got stuck in the tree last September

@willshakespeareeatthecake: A plague o' both your Waffle Houses

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Thither, ith there something in my brathes?

@willshakespeareeatthecake: By and by, iPhone #bestpresentever

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Give not this rotten orange to your friend, give him Syd Meier’s Civilization #hint

@willshakespeareeatthecake: I do beseech thee, wilt though plank with me?

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Masters, remember that I am an ass, when you see me in a fannypack

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, I have my learner’s permit

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion, after too many horse fights #poolparty!!!

@willshakespeareeatthecake: O remote, remote! Wherefore art thou remote? #toolazytogetup

@willshakespeareeatthecake: For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her tennis elbow

@willshakespeareeatthecake: Marry, doth another Kashardian presume to wed?

@willshakespeareeatthecake: What day is day, night night, and time is time; thank god the DV-R knows when to record Games of Thrones