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My School's Solution to the Mid-Semester Slump: Zombies!

My School's Solution to the Mid-Semester Slump: Zombies!

By Contributor

I have this theory (and by "theory," I mean "hesitant hypothesis based on a minimal amount of questionably gathered evidence") that around 78.2% of the way through the semester, a universal slump occurs. Grades drop by a percent or ten, attendance becomes lax, and professor/student relationships become a keg full of gunpowder. This slump is heightened in the spring semester, due to the fact that we’ve been at school since October, and have had  months to grow to hate each other.

The most convincing evidence I have for my hypothesis comes in the form of the measures my school has taken to counteract the slump. That is, they gave an orc a weird sparkly torch and told him to run as fast as he could directly at the barrel of gunpowder, no matter how many arrows he took to the shoulders. That's right: they simulated a zombie-Nerf-apocalypse.

Seriously, you guys, how cool is that?! The organizers handed out free Nerf guns and red bandanas to whoever wanted to play (I don’t know what the final headcount was, but over 50). Zombies wrapped their bandanas around their heads, and humans wrapped them around their arms. There was one zombie in the beginning; whoever he tagged became a zombie. If zombies were tagged by humans, they couldn’t tag anyone for 15 minutes. Last human standing won.

Zombie apocalypse was the perfect solution to the latent hatred we’ve spent all year amassing for each other. Give us Nerf guns, and let us shoot each other! It added a bit of interest to mid-April, a time when our professors conspired to give us as much homework as possible in an arbitrary three-day period. It also kept us on our toes. You can’t obey Barty Crouch, Jr. very well (“CONSTANT VIGILENCE!”) when you’re on your second all-nighter in a row; zombie apocalypse gives you more motivation to get your homework done at a reasonable time of night. The administration didn’t foresee the neurotic tendencies it would bring out in students, though. Having to check behind your back for zombies every 30 seconds wreaks havoc on your nervous system.

Also, I think this might be a not-so-subtle jab by the administration at the students’ propensity to acquire zombie-like characteristics this time of year. Ex.: lack of energy, lack of brain power, unusual diet.

I just wish they would let the professors play.

Ginger’s Song of the Week: This guy is an absolute beast at acoustic guitar. I can’t even handle how good he is: I’ve shown this video to both of my friends.

Does your school organize zombie-related activities? Do you participate?

Related post: How to Survive a Fight With a Zombie

Topics: Life, College Advisor
Tags: sparkler posts, zombies, games, life according to ginger, college life

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