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Odes to Stuff That's Never Been Oded Before

Odes to Stuff That's Never Been Oded Before

Any Tom, Dick, or Keats can write an ode about a Greek vase or a pretty bird or some other majestic thing or whatever. But what about all the non-majestic stuff? Doesn't it deserve to be ode-d, too?

Ode to a Cell Phone Protector
Lest vicious glares and garish stares
Detract thy mighty cause
Remember, we, how your hardy wares
Protect from kittens' claws.

Thine greyish rubber exterior
While 'pearing to add much weight
Bears hopeful heart far beyond horizon
For scratch-resistance is far superior
To the dreaded cost of freight
For getting a new phone from Verizon.

Ode to a Clogged Drain
O, conduit to Poseidon,
Veiled within humble bath
That waters once did ride on,
Now shunt'd by hair-bound wrath

Could one have known, to wash a dog
Would tawdry make this wretched nest
Of bygone follicles, who is the expunger?
You cannot stay, O clinging clog
And now, to wondering which is best
Drain-O, or the toil of the plunger?

Ode to a Shoelace
It matters not, the day or race
Or the cobbler, far flung
For lo, straps proud, that strongest lace
Protecting shoe-y tongue.

To bed the tarsals, meta, proud
To quietly restrain
To tread where others might not often think
That is thy legacy, aloud
I say and now I do declaim,
"Thanks for locking in my sooty, footy stink."

Leave your odes in the comments!

Related Mindhut post: An Ode to Game of Thrones

Topics: Life
Tags: poetry, odes

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