Is Your Teacher a Jerk? Take This Test to Find Out!
Do you ever get the feeling that your C- was less about misspellings or grammatical errors, and more about your teacher's need to ruin your every waking moment? Take this test to find out if you're dealing with an average whiteboard jockey or a downright jerk.
1) The margins on your paper were 1.1" instead of the requested 1". Your teacher:
a) notices and applauds you for "marching to the beat of your own drum."
b) doesn't really care—he's more interested in content than formatting.
c) writes a passive-aggressive comment like, "1.1 ≠1 , Brian!" or "Details matter!"
d) red-pens it, writes an aggressive-aggressive comment like, "UNACCEPTABLE!!!!," tags you when he posts it on Facebook, and/or deducts 50 points.
2) Your teacher makes a mistake in front of the class and you correct her. She responds with:
a) praise for you, followed by tears and apologies. (An "affirmation/hug circle" may follow.)
b) acknowledging you're right and moving on.
c) intense irritation, glossing over your comment, and continuing the class with head shakes and audible sighs.
d) rage-face level insanity and/or throwing you out of the classroom so you can "think about what you've done."
3) You thought you rocked it on the midterm; your grade says otherwise. When you discuss it with your teacher, he:
a) tells you that grades don't matter anyway, and that colleges will accept you based on "what's in here" while gesturing towards your heart.
b) goes over the answers that sunk your total, shows you what you should review, and maybe offers extra credit.
c) reviews it quickly, chides you for not studying harder, glosses over an area where he made a mistake, and maybe reluctantly changes the grade.
d) tells you to quit whining and deal with it. If you challenge him, he may retort with tactics like turning the rest of the class against you, or saying something like, "Who's going to believe you anyway?"
4) You raise your hand to give the answer and blurt out the wrong thing. Your teacher:
a) takes a moment to applaud your bravery and/or tries to figure out a way that, in some alternate universe, you might be right.
b) says, "Nope," "Anyone else?" or cracks a joke about the right answer.
c) gives you the stink-eye and says, "Really?" before calling on someone else.
d) devotes the rest of the class to reaming you out, and reminds you of your mistake any time you raise your hand in the future.
5) Your teacher's most common way of referring to you is:
a) "special one" or "moonbeam."
b) your first name (or common nickname)
c) your last name (or "Mr./Ms. Lastname")
d) a slur or derogatory term
6) During the parent-teacher conference, your teacher:
a) gushes endlessly about your vibe, and asks your parents what she should change to make you like her more.
b) talks appropriately/rationally about your strengths and weaknesses and asks your parents if they have any questions.
c) begrudgingly admits that you've got some positive qualities, but not without some blaming and finger-pointing first.
d) screams, says, "Why bother?" and storms out.
7) Your teacher favors:
b) no one; he pretty much treats everyone with equal fairness.
c) some people.
d) either no one—he pretty much loathes everyone—or everyone but you.
8) When you mention your teacher's name, other teachers:
a) make a sad, sympathetic face and say, "...yeah."
b) smile and say, "Cool. She's great, right?"
c) keep a neutral face and say, "Oh."
d) frown, pat you on the shoulder, and sigh.
If you got mostly A)s, your teacher is THE NICE QUEEN. This thoughtful, well-meaning, feelings-y teacher is more concerned with inspiring you than, say, preparing you for government testing. Jerk? No. Ineffective? Yes.
If you got mostly B)s, your teacher is ROCKSTAR HUDSON. This is the ideal teacher—smart, fair, unbiased, and no-nonsense. ROCKSTAR HUDSON may have a gruff exterior, but likely has a decent sense of humor under it. He'll make you work for the A, but will also give you the help, support, and guidance to get there. Jerk? Definitely not.
If you got mostly C)s, your teacher is BURNOUT MCQUITALREADY. This teacher has likely been in the job for waaaaaay too long, and is just hanging on until the pension kicks in. BURNOUT MCQUITALREADY was probably once passionate about her job, but years of the grind have worn down her patience, passion, and ability to laugh it off. Jerk? Borderline, but there's still a chance to rekindle the good teacher within.
If you got mostly D)s, your teacher is KING BUTT. This underhanded, power-tripping bully holds lifelong grudges, carries out arbitrary personal vendettas, and is never happier than when he's making your life hell. KING BUTT has mile-wide anger issues, lives by a staunch list of biases, and actively tries to hit new sound barriers when chewing out his latest victim. Jerktown: 100%.
So how bad is your teacher?
Related posts: Ask a Teacher