Have you ever wondered what you're supposed to say in those beautiful, romantic moments right before you lean in for a kiss? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. Maybe a simple, subtle "Yeehaw!" We sure don't know what the right answer is, but we've definitely established that there's a wrong one—in fact, there are many. Below are just a few of the things you should never, ever say while you're gearing up for some lip-on-lip contact.
I have a rotting flesh disease, but it only affects my gums.
Could you put on these earmuffs real quick?
So...shall we get this mouth-wagon a'rollin'?
I want to feel your baby teeth on my baby teeth.
None of those rumors about me having rabies were true.
Sometimes I get really aggressive nosebleeds.
I named my tongue Jacques Cousteau.
I'm allergic to dead skin cells—just wanted to put that out there.
You know what's a neat word? "Phlegm."
Would you mind holding this picture of my mother in front of your face?
I'm going to keep my eyes open, because every time I close them I feel like I'm covered in spiders.
Let's play "Dead Body."
Why is there so much hair in my mouth? Whose hair is this, even?!
I want to eat your eyes like raisins.
Get ready for a mouth-rocking like you've never experienced.
What else should you REALLY not say before goin' in for a kiss? We bet you guys can think of some GOOD ones.
Related post: How to Kiss: Kat's Illustrated Guide