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The Lost Districts of Panem

The Lost Districts of Panem

By Chrissie Gruebel

Remember that little (spoiler alert!) twist at the end of Catching Fire, when we found out that District 13 actually does exist? Well … um … we hate to reopen old wounds just when you learned to trust again, but there may or may not be another district. Ok, definitely probably there are another few districts. Maybe certainly less than 10—but the odds are nearly airtight there more than four other districts that no one knew about before.

Ok, it's six. There are six other districts that have been toiling away in near-silence for the course of an entire trilogy but now we're blowing the roof off this joint. Meet the Lost Six Districts of Panem. You will learn to love them.

District 1/2: Lohan
Geographically speaking, this area is actually a small portion of the Capitol's urban sprawl—however, the citizens of the Capitol are programmed from birth to not acknowledge its existence and "unsee" its inhabitants (for more on this phenomenon, please read China Miéville's The City & the City)

It's the smallest district, made up of anywhere from 716 to 863 people (exact numbers are unavailable due to the highly confidential nature of its business). And what's its business? The citizens of District 1/2 are devoted to the maintenance and taming of pseudo-celeb Lindsay Lohan. She survived the apocalypse because she cannot die. This elite task force of sobriety coaches, spray tanners, enablers, hairdressers, lip plumpers, bag holders and lion tamers have devoted their lives to the service of keeping Lohan off the streets and recommit their energy every day to getting her back to her Mean Girls fighting shape. The battle is ongoing.

District 14: Sweet Pop Hooks (the "Sorry for Party Rocking" District)
No one can resist infectious pop tunes. No one. Thus, from time to time, the Capitol comes a'calling for something akin to the pre-Panem folk songs, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)" or "Umbrella" and the post-apocalyptic hits "We Found Love in a Hopeless Race for Our Lives (the Finnick + Annie Candlelight Remix)" and "Morphlin' & Juice." When that day comes, the residents of District 14 get themselves into their recording studios and do not emerge until they're dropping sick beats into the hit machine.

District 15: Jeggings
Even the post-apocalyptic world needs a pants alternative. The proud people of District 15 have dedicated themselves to the round-the-clock production of jeggings. 24/7/365—nothing but jeggings. It is their civic duty.

District 16: Recycling (the How Shrek Became a Musical District)
This district arose from the ashes of the first-ever Hunger Games, where President Snow tried to rid the world of musical theater and all its happiness, drama, glitter wings and jazz hands. He rigged the Reaping so all of Panem's first tributes were actors and actresses. The Game Makers created an arena known as "Bloodway." That year, most died from over-emoting. The winners, their families, and all other self-identified theater geeks from around Panem were forced to move to their own district, where today, they are charged with the most piteous task of all—recycling movie plots into dumbed-down musicals to be performed in the Bloodway arena (now a Capitol tourist attraction). They're currently working on the adaptation of the 2006 mermaid movie Aquamarine.

District 17: Robot Sharks
Over the history of Panem, there have been moments where robot sharks have been needed to persuade the population to do President Snow's bidding—and at most of those moments, robot sharks did not exist. "Never again," he vowed. And so, District 17 was born. Although it's a higher-number district, District 17 is actually located in a small valley between Districts 3 and 4. The scientists needed access to water in order to make sure the electronics of the robot shark fleet can withstand both moisture and tridents.

District 18: The District Where Everyone Quotes Napoleon Dynamite
This district doesn't actually produce anything—it's more like an awesome prison colony where everyone just sits around and says things like, "Eat the food, Tina!" and "Do the chickens have large talons?" After about an hour in District 18, visitors have been known to do either of the following: cut all ties to their old lives and move into the first empty room they find or go completely insane.

Which District will you be moving into? What other Districts do you think are out there, unbeknownst to us all?

Related post: Check out the brand new, super-awesome Hunger Games SPARKNOTE!

Image credit: http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/18100000/My-Well-Thought-Out-Map-of-Panem-the-hunger-games-trilogy-18114988-1166-891.jpg

Topics: Books, Life, the hunger games
Tags: musicals, the hunger games, napoleon dynamite, funny things, catching fire, sharks, jeggings, lindsay lohan, districts, panem

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About the Author
Chrissie Gruebel

Chrissie Gruebel is a bunch of things separated by commas, but more often than not, she’s a writer, comedian, and wearer of too many colors at once. Here she is on Twitter: @chrissiegruebel.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.