Skip over navigation

Fashion for Men's Men

Fashion for Men's Men

By Scott Greenstone

Hey ugly! You might feel like you’ll always be condemned to basketball shorts, hoodies, and Vans—that you are clueless to dress yourself in any other fashion. But don't you worry; that's what we're here for.

Important principle: You can never go wrong with denim. Denim shirts, denim pants, denim ties, denim socks, denim Beardo hats, denim ascots! Denim mouth-guards on your denim helmet when you play denim football.

If all else fails: Dress like someone you want to emulate. Unashamed of your OCD? Dress like Monk. Feel like you’re the only sane person in the world? Dress like Dilbert. Never able to do anything right? Dress like Mr. Noodle from Elmo’s World.

If you are Mr. Noodle and you mess that up too: Dress like something you want to emulate. Jim Carrey followed this road when he decided to emulate a paintbrush. Why he wants to emulate a paintbrush is, of course, none of our business. Maybe he wants to be picked and have his head dipped in water (metaphor for a swirly?).

But TAKE NOTE: Either sag your pants or wear skinny jeans. Don’t sag your skinny jeans. You’ll look like a rooster with a full diaper. It’s neither cool nor desirous.

Leather jackets are the only cool leather things. Unlike denim, you can go very wrong with leather. Wearing leather or pleather pants makes you looks like someone who pantses gay kids for fun (i.e., a douche).

A tie is always cool. I mean, a tie works even if you’re not wearing a shirt. It’s just that classy. In fact, you could even wear it backwards like a long ponytail going down your back and it would still be cool. Ties are just cool!

Got any other fashion tips for Manklers?

Topics: Fashion
Tags: clothes, trends, men's fashion

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!


About the Author
Scott Greenstone

I write freely.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.