Check Out Kat's Hipster Glasses

Hey, Sparkstylistas! Remember that time I lost my mind in an Old Navy and succumbed like a boss to the probably-ill-advised trend of the little cropped sweater? Well, it was so much fun that I just had to do it again. TWICE.

This time around, I've gone trendy at both ends—on my face, with a pair of new hipsteriffic specs, and on my feet, with a pair of boots that I've decided to dub The Neckbreakers. Because their platform sole is so high that when I wear them, I feel like I am literally fifty feet off the ground and could die at the slightest misstep. (If you tripped over your cat/the carpet/the air as often as I do, you'd be similarly concerned.)

But unlike last time, the verdict on my trendpieces is split pretty evenly down the middle. Like so:

THE GLASSES: I love them. Oh, man, I love them. Even though the big black frames are probably way too big for me, to the point where the JCPenney optician actually crossed the line of professional detachment to try and talk me out of them. (My new favorite thing: conversations that begin with a complete stranger tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Honey? I don't... it's just... you know, your face is unusually small.") Definitely keeping 'em. And I think they give my whole look a vaguely bookish-sexy eau de nerd.

THE BOOTS: Let's just say that this, this right here, is what happens when I'm left to my own devices in a shopping mall for too long. I get weak, you guys. Weak enough to try on the most ridiculous pair of shoes I can find; weak enough to be swayed by the super-enthused salesperson who says, "GURL, those are BITCHIN'!"; and certainly weak enough to lay down my credit card when they turned out to be on super-duper-discount. But even though I love being this tall, and even though the shoes themselves are like pieces of wearable art, the part where I can't walk in them means that they're going back where they came from. No doubt they'll look just as bitchin' on someone else.

But before I get rid of the boots, I couldn't resist the urge to style them—with skinny jeans, a drapey blazer, and a statement necklace. And if you can walk in platform stilettos, then by all means consider adding a pair of similar shoes to your wardrobe; the extra height makes just about anyone look longer and leaner, and they're versatile enough to wear with dresses or pants.

Head to toe: Blazer, TJ Maxx; v-neck, Lands End Canvas; jeans, F21; boots, ALDO; necklace, vintage.

All right, confess: can YOU walk in shoes like these? HOW?! Tell us in the comments!