The ever-hilarious Bookweirm poses a question for the ages—but will she ever get an answer?—Sparkitors
Sparkler Glutei-Maximi: we are gathered here today to ponder, to hypothesize, to imagine. Like everyone else, I have been wondering about the origin of all the sparkletacular pictures that appear in SparkLife posts. From contributor posts to Chelsea Dagger's awesome interviews, the pictures never cease to amaze, to mindblow, to explode mind grapes. So we, Bookweirm, hammncheese94, StickShiftGuy, mortalinstruments3, Glinda_Darling, naturelover100, and Gablikesscience09 have combined efforts to give you THE HYPOTHETICAL GUESS LIST TO END ALL LISTS. Here are our theories on who IS posing for the Sparkitors' pictures!
1. Underage wannabe Victoria’s Secret models from Craigslist.
2. Photogenic sweatshops—need we explain further?
3. Younger siblings of Sparkitors threatened at gunpoint.
4. Chelsea Dagger's relatives (cuz they're just that awesome).
5. Random people walking in front of SparkNotes HQ, totally unaware they are about to be put on the Best. Site. Ever.
6. Pictures they found on Google and promptly Photoshopped
7. Extras from movies whose actors Chelsea Dagger interviews.
8. Dan Bergstein’s family.
9. Chelsea Dagger.
10. Dan Bergstein.
11. Martians from outerspace who are trying to pretend to be humans but can only do so for short amounts of time.
12. Poor males and females enchanted by the life of a wanna-be A-lister.
13. Magical unicorns who shape-shift into humans.
14. Sirius Black, you know: because he’s an animagus...
15. Wanna-be hot hipsters.
16. Shakespeare’s great, great, great, great, great, great, great...
17. Great, great, great, great ,great GREAT GRANDCHILDREN THRICE REMOVED.
18. Voice actors from Disney movies.
19. Auntie Sparknotes’s letter writers.
20. Students from SparkLife Academy.
SO SPARKLEBUTTS, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER THEORIES OR SHOULD WE ALL JUST ASK THE SPARKITORS TO EXPLAIN?!?!?
We'll never tell! (Or maybe we will. We haven't decided yet.)
Related post: Stock Photo Face-Off