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Musicals That Everyone Should See Before They Die

By Contributor

February 15, 2012

KJ_Vball is about to blow your mind with her musical enthusiasm. GET READY.—Sparkitors

Musicals tend to get a fair amount of hate in today’s society. But I, KJ_Vball, am here to say *clears throat, does vocal warm-ups* that’s a big old load of bull shenanigans. Musicals are GREAT! They have some of the best music ever written (Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, George and Ira Gershwin? Yeah. They did musicals), knee-slapping comedy, some of the most abso-stinking-lutely talented dancers that have ever existed on the face of this planet and probably ever will (Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Cyd Charisse, Vera-Ellen), and, let’s face it, storylines that require minimal brain activity, and that, my friends, generally tends to be a BIG selling point. So, whether or not you like musicals, these lovely films MUST [Must, mUst, muSt, musT (Didja get my subliminal message?)] be seen by anyone who wants to say they’ve truly lived. Just real quickly though, this is not a conventional musical list... You won’t find My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music, or anything by Rogers and Hammerstein on this list—not because I dislike those movies, but because those are the ones that come in box sets and that everyone in the whole world has heard of.

Singin’ In the Rain: Gene Kelly. Debbie Reynolds. Donald O’Connor. This is AFI’s 10th greatest movie of ALL TIME (think whatshisname from The Sandlot going “FOREVER. FOREVER.”). Not AFI’s 10th greatest musical, it’s 10th greatest movie. You have MGM’s permission to be impressed. Not only that, but it can boast some of the most famous dances in the WHOLE WORLD—Singin’ In the Rain (Gene Kelly with an umbrella dancing around the street as it pours down rain), Moses (Gene Kelly and Donald O’Connor harassing the poor diction coach with their awesome-sauce shenanigans), and Good Morning (Gooooood morning/Good morning/We’ve gabbed the whole night through/Good morning/Good morning/To you, and the raincoat dances? Come on, it’s fantastic!). If all this isn’t enough reason to go see it, my closing argument is this: Joseph Gordon-Levitt did Donald O’Connor’s “Make ‘Em Laugh” number from this for his Saturday Night Live monologue. Joseph. Gordon. Levitt. Saturday. Night. Live. *Squeeeeee* *Faints*

Phantom of the Opera: Longest running Broadway musical ever. Alright, so you're still not convinced, but I’m here to tell you that there is no better soundtrack to sing along with in the shower—and not just the shower, but also in theater class, backstage at any play you are ever a part of, in your car, walking around the house in your sweats with a hairbrush microphone, and at random social gatherings. Also: Gerard Butler. Also also, you will probably tear up if you ever get to see it on stage. Yeah, it’s that magnificent.

Meet Me In St. Louis: I realize that most people would say The Wizard of Oz is Judy Garland at her absolute best, but everyone and their mother has seen the Wizard of Oz, and you know what? It’s great, but I’m a little tired of hearing about it. Plus, Meet Me In St. Louis would never give you nightmares like you KNOW those stupid flying monkeys did. Anyways, Judy Garland stars in this and sings glorious songs like, “Meet Me In St. Louis,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and “That One With the Indian Dance and Her Little Sister At the Party That No One Really Knows the Name of But Is Still Great”. Ooh! And “The Trolley Song”! That’s my favorite.

Chicago: Now I’m not much of a Renée Zellweger fan, but she does quite a good job in this. Although Catherine Zeta-Jones is better, and Richard Gere is, as always, fabulous. Anyways, songs like “Cell Block Tango” and “All That Jazz” are always great fun, and how can you dislike any movie about the Roaring Twenties where they all have fringes on their dresses and bob haircuts and pinstripe suits? You can’t. That’s how.

High Society: Frank Sinatra. Grace Kelly. Bing Crosby. Louis Armstrong. I shouldn’t have to say more than that. But I will. And this is what I gotta say: Frank Sinatra. Grace Kelly. Bing Crosby. Louis Armstrong. “Now You Has Jazz,” “Well, Did You Evah?!” “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” and some of the best darned costumes you will ever see. Also, it’s funny when Grace Kelly gets drunk, and you know why? Because she’s still all refined and elegant and it’s hilarious. And Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby? Bing Crosby has some really extraordinary eyebrows. They’re truly amazing. And Frank Sinatra is Frank Sinatra, and that should be good enough reason to see this movie all by itself.

White Christmas: Did you know that Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” is the top-selling song EVER? More than the Beatles, more than Judy Garland, more than Garth Brooks. Also, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye’s “Sisters” number is guaranteed to make your day. This is one of those movies that should become a Christmas tradition, like It’s A Wonderful Life or A Charlie Brown Christmas or The Christmas Shoes.

Newsies: Whaaaaaaat? Christian Bale sings??? Why yes, folks, he does. He sings in what may just be the absolutely most undervalued Disney movie of all time. It’s about the Newsies, who consist of Christian Bale, Doogie Howser’s BFF, and that kid from Robocop, and they get cheated by that no good, stinking tightwad Robert Duvall, and they’re friends with Bill Pullman and Ann-Margaret, and they fight the man and beat the system and sing and dance! And also, it’s speck-tackalar.

Lés Miserables: Now, I haven’t seen this, actually… but I’m definitely going to see the Hugh Jackman/Russell Crowe/Anne Hathaway/Amanda Seyfried version, and I’m pretty dang excited about it, and also, it’s like a big deal and stuff. So yeah… it’s on my movie bucket list.

Moulin Rouge: Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman sing re-purposed pop songs in mind-blowing voices and eye-popping costumes (as per any Baz Luhrmann film).

Royal Wedding: Fred Astaire at the top of his game—his famous ceiling dance, or that dance he did in the gym with all the equipment in there (don’t tell anyone, but I almost enjoyed this more than the ceiling dance), and the number he does with Jane Powell—the “You’ve always been a good-fer-nothing something-or-other” (Sometimes it’s hard to hear what they’re saying, and also, I was doing something for school or something when I watched it. But it was good. Really.).

And that’s the tip of the iceberg, that. Don’t even get me started on An American in Paris, or Anchors Aweigh, or On the Town, or Take Me Out to the Ballgame, or My Fair Lady, or The Music Man, or How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying (although I don’t know how good that can possibly be with Nick Jonas instead of Daniel Radcliffe), or The King and I, or State Fair, or Oklahoma (which, if you can find it, Hugh Jackman also starred in), or South Pacific, or Mary Poppins, or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, or The Sound of Music, or, or, or—*brain explodes from sheer number of musicals out there*