What Your Favorite Chocolate Fillings Say About You

We all know that life is like a box of chocolates, but what Gump didn’t mention was that the chocolate is actually the least important part. What really matters, with candy and people, is what’s on the inside.

We here at SparkLife have done exhaustive research to determine exactly what your favorite chocolate fillings say about you. This is scientific, mind you! So hunker down with a king sized box of Russell Stover and prepare to give your taste buds over to science.

Fudge
While some people bemoan the monotony of flavor when they bite into a fudge filled chocolate, you are thrilled! Nothing makes you happier than the safety and comfort of a routine. You lay out your clothes the night before, you take the same amount of time to brush your teeth every day (down to the second), and you have counted your steps from your front door to the nearest pharmacy (532 on a good day, 543 when it’s raining). You have three pairs of running shoes, all exactly the same which you rotate on a daily schedule... a schedule that is on a printed Excel spreadsheet which is posted on your bedroom door. You have worn the same brand of underpants since you were ten, and once, in the eighth grade, when your mom accidentally bought the wrong kind, you broke out in hives and were bedridden for a week. You’re a lot of fun.

Caramel
You know love when you taste it, and love to you tastes like an ooey, gooey caramel center. When you walk down the street, you imagine that there’s a jazz quartet following behind you, playing your own bass-heavy theme. You own a fedora and you refer to it as your “groove lid.” Anytime you come to a party, you always bring cheese fondue and tell people it’s “love sauce.” Every week you pick a new decade from the early 20th century, and you talk like you’re from that era as though it were totally normal. You also make your own blown glass flower vases.

Coconut
Life has never been normal for the coconut filling lovers. And that’s just the way you like it! You were born while your mom was skydiving, and you landed in the Mohave dessert without a chute. And did you complain about not having a ride back home? Heck, no! Your little baby butt hitchhiked itself up to Quebec where you worked in a logging company till you were 3 and a half. After a brief stint as a professional face-glass-smasher, you became a staple on the Ultimate Snowboarding circuit and were the first 5-year-old to free carve on a mountain covered in shredded mozzarella instead of snow.

Nougat
Anyone who bites into a nougat center and does not question the what or why of that which they are eating, a dark and strange enigma. Little is known about your origin, except that you are allegedly from either the mad forests of Romania, or, legend has it, you leapt to life from a Magritte painting during the witching hour of the Winter Solstice in 1882. Either way, your obsession with nougat is as infamous as your penchant for stainless steel hand casts and crumpled up pieces of donut shop wax paper. You collect broken Victorian chalkboards and your favorite color is “Burnt Never.” If your name is written on parchment, the pen will burst into flames. You also listen to the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to “Annie” non-stop, on a loop.

What's your fave filling?