How to Survive School in China

And now for a reminder from IB free from homework: you might think your teachers are bad, but they could always be worse. –Sparkitors

Some of you will one day have the opportunity to go to school in another country. Some of you might even give school in China a try...but you shouldn't go in unprepared. Here’s what you need to know if you’re considering going to school in the shadow of the Great Wall:

1. Prepare to study like never before. There’s no such things as high school clubs and organizations in China. The Chinese people dedicate practically their whole lives to education because, unlike in the U.S., colleges in China look purely at your grades, nothing else. You will be expected to take tests and quizzes that have zero multiple-choice questions. Better work on your short answers now!

2. Increase your badass level to an all-time high. Most American administrators try their best to make sure fights don’t break out  during the school day. But when a fight breaks out in a Chinese school, teachers watch. In fact, I suspect they make bets on who will win. No one will care about the unfairness of a big guy bullying a weak girl, because schools in China are big on survival of the fittest. So don’t expect anyone to rescue you from a bad situation!

3. Prepare for breaks. Wait. WHAT!? Believe it or not, the Education Fascists of the world give you real breaks in between classes. You have at least 15 minutes to go outside to stretch, or to just stay in the classroom and chat. Bonus: You don’t have to walk from class to class—teachers are the one who travel.

4. Avoid the passport-seekers! In every class there will be a sneaky, sly student who is simply desperate to get out of China, and will willingly trade their hand in marriage just to get a one-way ticket. This student will be abnormally nice to you, take interest in everything you say, and will often try lines like, “How I wish I could visit [insert your country here]!” In English, too, in an effort to impress you more.

5. Do everything the teachers say. EVERY. THING. Even if the teacher is unreasonable. Why? Because, unfortunately, the teachers are dictators. You don’t want to end up with a teacher shouting the words, “SHUT UP YOU INSOLENT FOOL!” in your face, do you? Especially if the screaming is followed by a punishment of, say, a hard smack on the back or enforced standing for the rest of the lesson.

Could you survive school in China? Have you already?

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