The Russian Accent Brigade

Talie is back with another week of bucket-listing. AND she doesn't go back to school til April. What's up with that?! —Sparkitors

Yet another week has passed. Another week of me counting the days until I return for my second semester of college (you see, the college I attend is on the track system, which means I have to wait until APRIL to make my triumphant return). And yet another week of the blurry chaos that one could only call Talie’s Life.

It actually wasn’t that exciting.

Still, my life rocks. Wanna know why?

That’s right, my sparkle-buckets: I managed to tackle yet another item on my Bucket List!

Number 7: Talk in a Russian accent for an entire day.

And guess what? This one was pretty embarrassing, too. Luckily, I didn’t have to do it alone.

You see, it’s actually not that unusual for my friends and me to talk in strange accents whilst around each other. We used to just stick to English accents, but last year we got into Russian accents. So it wasn't that strange when, at our get-together, we all slipped into Russian mode.

I wasn’t sure if we could make it at first, considering the look on the casheir’s face at the grocery store upon hearing our accents. Apparently, they're not as authentic-sounding as we thought.

Cashier: “Alright, your total is 10.85.”

Me: “Ookyey.”

Cashier: “Debit or credit.”

Me: “Thyeez carrd eez dyebet.”

Cashier: (Looks at me in a very concerned manner) “Okay, here’s your receipt.”

Me: “Zyeank joo.”

Cashier: “Have a nice day.”

Me: “I hhope thyeat joo hyeave nizz deh doo.”

I swear she was about to call security. Perhaps it was the cashier’s reaction that made me realize that, no, talking in incredibly fake Russian accents isn’t the norm in our society. But, of course, that just added to the appeal of getting this one done.

We headed to my house to drop some stuff off, all the while jabbering away in our Russian accents and singing along to popular songs at the top of our lungs with the windows rolled down. In our Russian accents. Unfortunately, my parents are used to this, so they didn't even react when we got to my house.

Then we hit lunchtime. We headed over to a restaurant and asked in our boisterous and loud Russian-ness to be seated at a table for six. When our waitress arrived and told us her name and the specials for that day, we boldly announced our orders.

“I vill bee hyeaving a vaterr!”

“A dyeit coke forrme, if joo plyease.”

“Peenk lehmohnade, zyeank joo.”

For some reason, when you talk like a Russian person (no matter how horrendous it sounds), everything you say sounds either boisterous, bold, or a combination of the two.

Needless to say, both our waitress and the other diners looked at us like we were crazy.  I’m surprised nobody tripped out of shock at our embarrassing accents when they passed our table. But we didn’t let any of the apparently negative reactions bring us down.

Our adventure continued when we finished lunch and decided to hit up some stores. We bantered, argued, laughed, joked and sang in Russian accents while browsing clothes, which resulted in a lot of weird looks and quite a number of double takes. But NOT ONE PERSON asked us if we were really from Russia.

Unfortunately, after a couple of shops, we had to split up due to work and family obligations. But I’d say we managed to talk in Russian accents together for at least half of the day. When I arrived home, I continued speaking in my beautiful Russian accent.

Finally, my dad asked me: “Talie, why are you talking like that?”

“Eet eez forr de blog, fotherr dyearest.”

“Oh. You’re weird.”

“Cyean’t arrguee weez zyeat.”

I didn’t feel like a particularly insane person until I began conversing with my dog in my Russian accent. That’s when I knew it was time to retire the ol’ accent and go to bed.

Altogether, I’d say the day was a success the size of China. Or possibly RUSSIA. BAHAHAHA…

Update on the progress of the other items on the Bucket List. I didn’t hear back from the casting homies about Iron Man 3… so I'll have to use my back-up plan: Hunger Games, here I come! In the meantime, I’m still working on my play little by little. I’m planning on trying to perform it when I return for my second semester of college… hopefully.

Still working on the Sindarin.

Also: would it be terrible if I changed Number 26 from “learn how to play the guitar” to “learn how to play the ukulele”? PLEASE??

Talie :)

What do you think of the Russian Accent Brigade? Any suggestions for Talie's bucket list?

Related Post: Blogging My Bucket List

Wanna write for SparkLife? Read this first!