Ask a Teacher: Do Teachers Ever Really Hate a Student?

Q: Do teachers ever really hate a student?

A: Teachers are fair people and they have no strong preferences or feelings when it comes to their students. Everyone is given an equal opportunity and personal matters do not come into the evaluation of a student.

...I wish that were the case. The truth is, as much as we try to pretend we’re not, teachers are people, too. And just like all other people who have opinions and thoughts and preferences, there are some people we just jibe with better than others. This includes our students. Just like when it comes to adults, there are personalities that I like to be around, and personalities I don’t. There are actions that I find hilarious, and things that drive me up the wall. Everyone is unique, and this is normal. That said, teachers' personal preferences can rear their ugly heads in the classroom.

Being a teenager is hard enough the first time around. Teachers relive that Every.Single.Year.
Sometimes being around teenagers brings out our high school selves. Our old high school prejudices come out, even though we’re not students anymore. I didn’t like the mean girl when I was in tenth grade, so I’m certainly not going to enjoy her company now. The class clown boy who throws things at the teacher just to get attention? Didn’t have time for him when I was fifteen. Certainly do NOT have time for him now that I am the aforementioned teacher being pelted with crayon pieces. The group of girls who take themselves oh so seriously—it wasn’t that serious when I was in high school, it’s not that serious now. Even though we’re in front of the class now, it’s hard to like who you don’t like.

Spending our days in a school can also bring out all of our high school insecurities. I graduated at the top of my class in high school and was in the band. Sometimes, when dealing with underachieving-I-am-too-cool-for-school student, I find myself more infuriated than I should be. The kids who think they are the most important people in the building and are kind of bullies get the worst of my wrath. I have no patience for these kids because I remember what it was like to be in the receiving end of their comments. So, as an adult, I have zero tolerance.

Remember, too, that we are dealing with teenagers. And often with teenagers, it isn’t just the personality quirks and differences. It’s dealing with the drama and moodiness that accompanies adolescence and that ridiculous behaviors that teenagers seem to reserve only for their teachers. I would be lying to you if I said that I like a child that is rude to me and screams at the top of her lungs in the middle of class just to be difficult. It’s almost impossible to have patience for a student who disrespects you, and then has no remorse for her actions. Teenagers who take over a classroom or making learning impossible for my other students aren’t high on my list of people I like. Students who don’t respect the materials or the lesson that I have invested time, energy, and money in also fall low on the list of people who I’m going to be nice to.

Most of the time, teachers grin and bare the difficult students, remembering that they are in high school and they don’t know any better, but there are times when that just isn’t enough. I wouldn’t say that I’m vindictive or out to get someone, and I would never do anything that wasn’t fair. However, there is a certain amount of satisfaction in students getting their just desserts. Failing the student who hasn’t done a single thing all marking period except give me an attitude is, in a word, amazing. Calling home the day before a long break to remind a parent that their child acted like a third grader in a high school classroom is my way of evening the playing field. Some would say that this is taking revenge on my students. I would argue that it’s a matter of teaching cause and effect.

Teachers are there to provide an education for all of their students. Most teachers will bend over backward to meet the needs of any and all of their students. But they don’t have to be happy about it.

Have you ever thought a teacher hated you?

Ms. Mahoney is a high school teacher in New York City. When she's not teaching, she reads blogs about people's lives who are nothing like her own.

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