Atheism for Dummies

Nicole—Lyn has never been one to shy away from hot-button topics; check out her take on this traditionally touchy subject!—Sparkitors

‘Ello there, fellow Sparklers! Do you know what time it is? It’s semi-serious post time! [Insert a catchy, alternative rock/pop crossover music clip here.] Let's see, where to begin...Well, my name is Nicole-Lyn, I’m sixteen years old, I’m a writer, I’m totally awesome, anyone who got the reference is also totally awesome, I have a hoverboard, I can only wish that last one was true, and I’m an atheist—an atheist who happens to live in the good ole’ Bible Belt of the great ole’ US of A.

As you can imagine, this leads to some difficulties concerning common misconceptions. And said misconceptions are still a hop, skip, and a jump away from getting anywhere close to totally awesome territory. The least people could do is come up with some positive stereotypes; the only one out there is that atheists apparently are all scientists, and I don’t have an active enough right-brain for that. So in my attempt to purge the world of offensive stereotypes through snarky Interweb posts, I shall now commence telling my dear fellow Sparkers why atheism actually wont hurl all of humanity into a real-life version of Road Warrior. Though that would be kind of amazing, so I still fail to see the problem here.

It’s just one part of my personality. Some of the more extreme theists I’ve come across over the years seem to be under the impression that I view my atheism the same way they view their religion, i. e., they think it’s some huge part of my personality. That’s just not the case for me personally, although I can’t speak for everyone. It’s in the same category as me having curly hair: not all that important when you get right down to it. Just try thinking of how important your lack of belief in Thor is to you, and you should be able to dig what I’m laying down. (I’m trying to bring back disco slang, or “soul-slang” as I call it.)

I can do bad all by myself. Is that a shoehorned attempt to work in another pop culture reference? Why yes! Yes it is! But in all seriousness, I can do bad all by myself, just like I can do good all by myself. The whole “Godless heathen” stereotype is rather annoying. I live by the Golden Rule (treat others as you wish to be treated), which is what a lot of religious people live by as well. I participate in food drives, want to provide shelter for every stray puppy on the planet, and secretly refer to Prius drivers as the Patron Saints of all Things Wonderful and Eco-Friendly just like the rest of you.

I don’t think theists are stupid. Everyone is stupid. And everyone is a genius. These are the facts of life. They extend into everything and control the innermost workings of the universe. This is why I don’t judge anyone based on religion. You can be the biggest idiot on the planet when it comes to geometry, but that doesn’t matter because you’re probably also the world’s leading expert on the migratory patterns of the evening loon. Even Sherlock Holmes doesn’t know anything about the solar system, so who am I—a girl who views grade school math as the Mandarin/quantum physics demon child of basic knowledge—to call anyone else dumb for believing in something that I don’t?

I’m not offended by theists, and I’m not trying to take away their religion either. I just want to take some time out to tell you that I am not a vampire. Old timey churches are fun to paint, crosses are pretty as long as they don’t have a dead guy hanging on them (something I’m sure we can all agree on), I’m already blind as a bat without having holy water splashed in my face, and I’m rather adverse to body glitter. I don’t secretly wish to destroy all churches, crosses, holy water fountains, or copies of Twilight either. I actually find religion very interesting even though I don’t believe it, kind of like Greek mythology and its assorted Roman ripoffs. "Live and let live" is my motto. Well, that and "live free or die hard," but the first one has more relevance to the topic at hand.

We think Nicole handled this tough topic like a pro! What are your religious beliefs? Feel free to share thoughts and opinions, but please remember to keep your comments respectful!

Related post: Life as an Atheist