Geek Week Initiation

Prospective brothers and sisters, you have made it through your Geek Week pledgeship. You have sufficiently convinced us that you can name all 11 actors who've played Doctor Who (and which ones had perms), can complete the Friday New York Times crossword puzzle and at least 3/4 of the Saturday one, are a regular writer of fan fiction, secretly think you are a ninja, and have a working knowledge of HTML. Furthermore, you have illustrated your undying loyalty and devotion to this Sparklerhood.

HOWEVER, before you can become a full-fledged member of Gamma Epsilon Kappa (ΓΕΚ), you must go through *dramatic prairie dog* INITIATION. This ages-old ritual is not for the faint of heart. We warn you: There will be blood. (Just kidding! There will not be blood, but there may be chocolate syrup that kind of looks like blood.) Once you complete the induction, you are one of us *dramatic prairie dog* FOR LIFE. Are you ready?

Put your hand on this signed, first-edition copy of Lord of the Rings. Don't get your Cheeto dust on it.

Repeat after me: "I, [state your Sparkler name], do hereby solemnly swear to uphold, to the best of my ability and in all areas of my life, the utmost geekiness in a way that both represents Gamma Epsilon Kappa and makes it proud. Sic semper fi id est expecto patronum."

Okay, now everybody stand in a line, bend over and grab your neighbor's... just kiddin'. But seriously, do touch your toes.

Okay, good, your scoliosis looks like it's improving.

Now, drop and give us twenty.

If you could complete twenty push-ups without collapsing to the floor like a quivering Jell-o Jiggler, get out of here. You're not a ΓΕΚ. The ΔKΕ initiation is next door.

Now your Pledge Master, Dan Bergstein, will tell the origin story of Gamma Epsilon Kappa, going all the way back to brothers and founders Hubert von Winkelvoss and General Bertram Anakin Skywalker....... Nevermind. Dan's asleep. We'll do that next time.

We will now pass around the Candelabras of Unity and Smartness. Bow down to them. Bow down! Now runyourfingerthroughtheflamereallyquicklikethis.

Now that you are almost full members of ΓΕΚ, we will reveal the meaning of this funny looking blue stone that Chelsea Dagger wears around her neck at all times.... It's her birthstone. She just thought it was pretty.

Hold your horses. There's just more step to signal to the world that you are a proud GEK:

Take and wear this mockingjay TARDIS pin on your lapel at all times.

Congratulations, GEKs. You're one of us. Now join us in singing our official ΓΕΚ song, "Brotherhood of Man" from the smash Broadway success How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.

Will you be undergoing Gamma Epsilon Kappa initiation with us?