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Life in SingleVille, Population 1

Life in SingleVille, Population 1

By Contributor

muchtooindian has some tips for coping with your singledom (there's stalking involved; get excited!)—Sparkitors

I recently came to the realization that every person in my life has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. This revelation led to me spending days moaning, groaning, and complaining to my mother that I’m so cool, stylish, and sophisticated (ahem, more like so awkward and strange and constantly breaking out with "musical turrets," but whatever) that boys are too intimidated to ask me out. So here I am, alone on a Saturday night, just me in SingleVille, population One. If you suffer from the same problem, here are some ways to make your life less lonesome (at least for one night):

1. Stalk the crush that's out of your league. He’s tall, he’s brooding, he’s sarcastic, he teases me to no end, and he makes me want to pull my hair out. But then again, he has a sexy Scottish accent and eyes that change from green to gold on an hourly basis. Got a guy like this in your life? Then spend a few hours scrolling through his entire Facebook page and stalking every single girl who has written on his wall. Then, assure yourself that they are not nearly as cool and awesome as you are.

2. Go through your iTunes (which is probably full of strange, obscure music that barely anyone appreciates due to the fact that your music taste is so much better than everyone else’s *hair flip*). Then search for that loud, fist-pumping, going-to-dance-all-night playlist, the one you made the one time when you promised yourself that you would get in shape for cross country and never did. Turn up the volume on your laptop and break out the badass dance moves from the Single Ladies music video, jumping up and down and flailing around like a raggedy Ann doll. You feel better, right?

3. Throw yourself onto your bed and hold your teddy bear really tight, assuring yourself that you will one day have a boyfriend  who will love you and make you mix CDs, and will bake cupcakes with you until your stomach explodes. Create amazing scenarios about you and Mr. Right running through a forest and hiding from the government just like Gale and Katniss. Check your phone constantly to see if anyone has texted you to confess their everlasting love. Fall blissfully asleep.

NOTE: This plan goes much smoother if you've got some chocolate-covered pretzels. It is also imperative that you wear the comfiest pajamas you own (even if they include giant, fuzzy yellow slippers and fleece pants with ducks on them).

I hope this helped make your stay in SingleVille a little more pleasant!

What do you do when you're feeling blue about being single? We've definitely indulged in some major Facebook stalking, but usually it hurts more than it helps. Any other tips?

Related post: 5 Reasons Why Being Single Rocks

Topics: Life
Tags: guides, relationships, dating, crushes, loneliness, funny things, being single, facebook stalking

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