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Flyergirl Presents: The Google C's!

Flyergirl Presents: The Google C's!

After taking on the A's and B's, Flyergirl13 faces the challenge of the C's!—Sparkitors

I thought I had been really clever in my last post, what with my sneaky avoidance of any "how to bake" questions.  But now that we're in the C's, it's unavoidable. People asking Google "how to cook (x)" get on my nerves, for two reasons:

1. It makes me hungry

2. It makes me think about how cool it would be if you could download recipes onto your kicthen computer, and all the your kitchen appliances would come alive and make that recipe for you. Then, I think about how depressing it is that this technology doesn't exist yet, and I get sad.

But whenever I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story. So let the awesomeness commence!

How to Cook Pumpkin Seeds: This may be weird, but I only discovered this year that I actually like pumpkin seeds. When I was a child, I simply assumed that pumpkin seeds were gross because whenever I saw them (usualyl around pumpkin carving time) they were covered in pumpkin barf and innards.  So yeah...never tried them.

This year, I finally ate some. Basically, they taste like salt, which is quite delicious. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say anything is delicious when drowned in salt. Even barfy pumpkin seeds.

Cooking them, though? No need. Just dunk 'em in the salt shaker and chow down on them, raw.

How to Cook Spaghetti Squash: *Googles "Spaghetti Squash"* My friends, fellow Sparklers, I believe I have just stumbled upon one of the greatest things nature has to offer us. No, it is neither bacon nor Neil Patrick Harris.  My friends, there is a type of squash that, when cooked, resembles spaghetti!  This squash, creatively named "spaghetti squash," is a beautiful thing.

Imagine the possibilities. If it looks just like spaghetti, then there are some great opportunities available. If your mom tells you to eat more vegetables, eat spaghetti. When questioned, claim it's spaghetti squash. Genius!

To cook: Stick in oven, 400 degrees Kelvin, until squash begins to resemble spaghetti.  Remove and enjoy.

How to Cite a Website: Salvation!  Hurray, a C that does not involve cooking!  All that talk of spaghetti made me hungry, excuse me while I grab a snack.

*Returns with bowl of spaghetti* Now, citing websites. I generall use EasyBib, but you can do it by hand. For example, if you were to cite SparkLife, you would use the following citation:

Sparkitors and Sparklers, and also Dan Bergstein the Awesome. SparkLife, also known as The Greatest Website Ever, Filled With Great People and Supermegafoxyawesomehot Things. Last updated Today. Don't forget that this website is the home of acclaimed writer and awesome person, flyergirl13.

Now, just substitute in the name of the website you need to cite, and change the information to match. But the last sentence about flyergirl13 is standard for any citation, so leave it there no matter what.

How to Cook a Turkey: First, you need to catch the turkey.  I suggest a sligshot, but marshmallow guns work as well.

Second, go to your nearest iParty and grab a chef costume. Hat, apron, and spatula are all necessary. Special shoes are recommended, but optional. Guy Fawkes mask highly dscouraged.

Third, take the turkey (I hope you didn't leave it unattended while you were at iParty; they're liable to escape) and put it in the cook costume.

Ta-da! Your turkey has been cooked! Now, either put it to work making you dinner, sell it to a gourmet restaurant for a handsome profit, or release it into the wild.

Actually, don't do that last one. Its friends might laugh at the hat, and it would feel bad.

We always wondered how to cook a turkey, and now we know. Bless you, Flyergirl. What Google How Tos would you like to see for the D's?

Related post: Flyergirl Tells You How

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: guides, google, funny things, how to, flyergirl tells you how, google how to

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