Don't Whine, Cry, or Be Human

I’m sorry, peeps, but its first week of school and my World History professor is Genghis Khan. He’s loaded us all down with work so that he can pillage the Business Department unchallenged.

So no Rules this week! Sorry! Go on, go away. Go back to your schoolwork or your last week of break or your drag racing. I’ll see you next week.

Just kidding! Hahahahahaha. You should have seen your face!

Rule #30: Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection. “…What do we do when we get dumped? Our natural reaction may be to stagnate and isolate, wish we were dead, not wash our hair or wear makeup, cry, sleep a lot, play sad love songs, and swear we’ll never meet anyone as perfect as him again. …Obviously, this is ridiculous. Allow yourself about two days of such behavior, and then go on.”

Whoa, Ellie and Shushpumkin! Hold up here for just a moment. According to you this behavior is 1) ridiculous, and 2) obviously ridiculous. And if there’s anything Rules girls aren’t, it’s 1) ridiculous, and 2) kinda ridiculous. (In their minds—but to me anyone who stops dating someone because of a lack of a romantic gift on Valentine’s Day is pretty ridiculous.)

So why are you saying they can? Nowhere else in this book does it say that you can take “time off” from the rules and do UnRulesy things for just a while. But here it’s okay? I fail to see the rhyme or reason in this.

This behavior is perfectly human (as opposed to perfectly robot, as E-Fein and Shusher are). Did you know it’s actually healthy to cry? Crying and getting through the emotions, instead of hiding them, is good for you.

So I would agree with E-Fein and Shusher in that you shouldn’t stay in mourning for a long time, but disagree with the insinuation that 1) it’s ridiculous and 2) it’s really pretty ridiculous. And two days? Really? What if you were dating him for two years? Or four? Sometimes it takes a while, and you can’t just turn off your emotions after you’ve let them run crazy for two days.

“The Rules recipe for rejection is to wear a great dress and flattering makeup and go to the very next party or singles dance and tell your friends you’re available for blind dates” so they can know you for the skank you are. Does The Rules really want you to be perpetually immersed in the dating scene? When do young ladies get a break from relationships?

“Comfort yourself with uplifting slogans like, 'When one door closes, another one opens' and any other positive philosophies you can think of.”

For instance, the age-old “go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.” That’s a great philosophy. Someone please tell me they remember that from grade school.

Verdict for Rule #30: Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection: Neh!

Yehs: 6

Hmaybes: 5

Nehs: 12

What do you think about the Two Day Get-Over-Him rule?

Read all of Scott's Rules posts and...

Check out Scott Free's face on the 'book!