Annoying Things That Happen at the Mall

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January 9, 2012

We think Ceci has had a serious of terrible shopping trips... —Sparkitors

You've experienced it: that complex haven of weird smells, creepy stares, and bad fashion (no, I'm not talking about your little brother). The shopping mall. It's amazing, it's fun, it's a great place to hang out, and it makes me want to pound my face into a wall. Here are some things that drive me crazy about the shopping mall...

Trying to chase Santa down on his coffee break to get free pictures, only to get hauled off by security guards and put on the naughty list.
Finding something that would make an incredible gift and is really cheap, but then realizing you were looking at the price tag upside-down.
Accidentally picking the weird cart that turns left and takes herculean force to push
Falling over and getting marched on by eager shoppers while trying to pull up your socks.
Waiting in a line for 40 minutes before realizing that the line doesn't lead anywhere.
Hurrying through an automatic door, only to find that the door doesn't open, causing you to bash your head on the door and fall over. And get trampled, again.
Getting your shoe stuck in an escalator.
Spending 2 hours shopping and 40 minutes in line at the checkout, only to remember that you left your wallet at home.
Going to a toy store and getting attacked by small children demanding candy.
Setting off the security alarm at the front of the store by accident, but thinking it's the fire alarm, running outside and getting tackled by very unfriendly security guards.
Getting lost in the maze of shops and dying.
Getting stalked by a creepy guy wearing socks and sandals who calls himself "One of Santa's little helpers."
Finally escaping, only to realize that it was all a dream and you have to go back again.