Justin Timberlake is ENGAGED?!? To Jessica Biel?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?
HOLD ON JUST ONE SECOND: DIDN'T THESE TWO BREAK UP? My Dagger Celebrity Love Radar must be in serious need of some new batteries (and perhaps a fresh coat of rhinestones), because I HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE STILL A COUPLE, MUCH LESS ENGAGED TO BE WED. I've always had something of a soft spot for Justin (especially after his hilarious stints on Saturday Night Live), and Jessica's a Colorado girl like myself, which means we have a lot in common, like 6-pack abs and flawless hair (except that I don't have either of those things), so I suppose I think this union is pretty adorable—but COME ON JUSTIN, REALLY? You couldn't even be bothered to send me a TEXT? I mean, YOUR GRANDMA knew about this before I did, Justin. YOUR GRANDMA.
My justifiably hurt feelings aside, here are the deets: Justin apparently proposed to Jessica (first name basis, WHAT-WHAT) during a romantic pre-Christmas vacation in Jackson, Wyoming. That seems refreshingly normal to me; no helicopters, no camera crews, just a guy, his gal, and me, disguised as a snow bank and secretly taping the entire thing as my limbs slowly went numb from the cold. Isn't love grand?
What do you think of the engagement, butts? Super cute or doomed to fail? We gotta say, we're rooting for this one!