How I Ended up on a Facebook Fast

By Contributor

December 23, 2011

We love the idea of a reverse New Year's resolution, I'mNiffy. Starting Christmas, we're giving up all ice cream till 2012! –Sparkitors

I was just like you once, oh, so long ago: refreshing Facebook every 2-3 seconds, friending every somewhat attractive person I could find, and stalking people with supreme ease. The day this all stopped for me was Saturday, December 3, 2011. In an effort to detach myself from all the Internet drama, I committed an act of extreme desperation—deactivating My Precious.

And now I have to make real friends, talk to people IRL, and stalk people the hard way! (Totally kidding…well…). The reason for this? I'm glad you asked! You see, there's been a lot of squabbling en el libro de los caras lately—at least in my little group of friends, there has. When I told my parents about my moment of social-networking insanity, their eyes grew wide, they gasped louder than an asthmatic cross country runner, and they began to shout: “DON’T GET OFF FACEBOOK, NIFFY! IT ISN’T WORTH GOING BACK TO BEING AN INTROVERT!” Which is when I began to think: “Are my parents crazy?”

By the time I finished explaining everything, they changed their tune. Instead of arguing about why it was so important for me to have Facebook, they instead began lecturing me on how great my new, network-free situation is! They were so happy to learn I now have time to study for the SAT, though this completely ignores the fact that I was already treating the prep book like it was my Bible. I started to doubt my decision.

Fast-forward 24 hours or so and there I was, telling myself, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it, girl. You'll be mad as hell at yourself when you type that web address in there." And so here I am, pledging to keep up my Facebook fast up until the new year. I suppose this could be considered a “reverse resolution,” but I swear that I’m going to muster up every bit of willpower I have to avoid bookface as well as I can…Even though there’s this incredibly attractive trumpet player on there who goes to a different school…MUST. SEE. FACE. No, no, no, Niffy, just breathe, make yourself a cup of hot cocoa, eat a bagel, and play some tetherball. Much, much better…(sarcasm hands to the sky).

Sparkledoodles, this is going to be an extremely end of December.

How long could you live without Facebook?