Annoying Misused Words

Don't worry, this isn't one of those "Argh, you stupid kids!" complaints. You all get enough of that from grumpy old people who are mystified by your use of internet shorthand (and who further assume that you are constantly texting naked butts at each other). We realize that when you type "im," you probably mean "I am" or "instant message," or are invoking the ancient wrath of a mythical Norse titan, depending on context.

But like a cheap airport massage parlor, some word errors simply rub us the wrong way. Whether they're due to misspellings or confusion or homonymnity, here are some examples that set our teeth on edge, like a cheap airport dentist (which is probably not a thing that exists, but would surely be inadvisable if it did).

Lose/Loose
Example: "Oh, boyfriend, I don't want to loose you!"
Example 2: "I don't want to looooose you!"
As a verb, "loose" means "release from a restraint," so if you keep your boyfriend tied up in your basement, then your usage is fine while you are clearly not. If you are just adding random Os to communicate your distress, then add like ten of them to prevent confusion.

Past/Passed
Example: "I am so passed my ex-boyfriend."
In a highly unconventional game of touch football, you exclaimed to the quarterback that you were wide open, whereupon he hurled your entire ex-boyfriend at you. There were no survivors.

Whole/Hole
Example: "The formal was great! I spent the hole time hanging out with my crush."
Well, whatever Hole Time is, it's probably inappropriate to be telling people about it.

Compose/Comprise
Example: "This post is comprised of many annoying gripes."
This one isn't so much commonly misused as it is annoyingly misused, because people only use it when trying to sound smart. "Comprise" doesn't mean "compose," it means "is made up of" (this post comprises many gripes). Misusing it while trying to look like a Dictionary Genius will only serve to confuse people who don't know what you're saying and bother people who do, rather like using "octopodes" as the plural of "octopus." ("Help, I'm being murdered by octopodes!" you will shout after falling into the zoo aquarium, and all the zookeepers will just sigh and shake their heads.)

Clothes/Cloths
Example: "I need new cloths!"
You probably don't!

Wary/Weary/Leery
Example: "I'm weary of dating that weirdo!"
If you have already dated that weirdo so many times that you collapsed in exhaustion, then you're weary of him. Otherwise you are wary or leery, meaning that you are cautious and uncertain about dating him, because his room is full of naked mannequins with your face taped on them.

Too/To
Example: "I'm to tired."
You are going to Tired, which is evidently a place. Have a pleasant journey to Tired.

Bonus: Ironically, Literally
Overuse has rendered these words devoid of any meaning at all, so you might as well abuse them all you can. Tell someone that you are literally on fire with passion when you seem to be on no fire at all; explain that you are ironically sleepy, and enjoy the show as people try to figure out what that means. Tell your boyfriend that you are literally ironically breaking up with him, and the total confusion on his face will be priceless, and also while he's puzzling that out you can go ahead and steal his wallet.

What's your homophone pet peeve?

Related post: In Defense of Misusing the Word Literally