Top 15 Symptoms of Procrastination
Web MD can't help you with this one, but heroesandthieves is on the case! –Sparkitors
1. Taking a break after every sentence you write. Congratulating yourself heartily on your hard work!
2. Searching your house for a piece of gum, because you've just decided that gum helps you to concentrate.
3. Blowing your nose excessively while saying "Am I sick? I think I'm sick," in an effort to explain your uselessness to yourself.
4. Peeing frequently, even if there's no pee to speak of.
5. Convincing yourself that the piece of fuzz on the bathroom floor is a spider, then hanging out in the bathroom reading a magazine because you're "trapped."
6. Taking extra time washing your hands after using said bathroom, because it is flu season, after all!
7. Eating when you're not hungry. Lying down because you gave yourself a stomachache.
8. Falling “asleep.”
9. Organizing your school supplies; i.e. searching for a paper you knew you had at some point, and it would be really useful if you could just find it, now where did I put that? Oh dear, did I really just make this mess? All my notes are strewn across the room, I just must clean this up! Organization time!
10. Repeatedly typing "sparknotes.com" into your web browser. (They could have posted something new in the 13.462 seconds I’ve been gone!)
12. Telling your mother that you're seriously considering dropping out of school, then going on to explain what you'll do with the rest of your life. (Who hasn’t done this? I would hitch a ride to London, write poetry on sidewalks while living in a cardboard box, and become famous when a British secret agent discovers my talent and whisks me away to live with him in his château à Paris. Which has an unlimited supply of cinnamon buns!)
15. Giggling when you think of corny jokes because you've been working so long (not really) that you're humor-deprived (um, no, you were just on SparkLife twenty-eight seconds ago). What do you call a mermaid’s undergarment? Algebra! What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey! Don’t laugh. It's not funny. Really.
How do you diagnose your procrastination fever?
Related post: How to Procrastinate
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