How to Be a Ninja: Christmas Edition

By Contributor

December 20, 2011

sumsparkler is about to turn your holiday season into the stealthiest time of the year.—Sparkitors

Sure, anyone can be a ninja in the summer, but do you have what it takes to be one in the winter? Here are some helpful tidbits on how to spread the Christmas cheer... ninja style.

-You have to change your outfit. Sure, a dark, stealthy jumpsuit will help you blend in during the summer nights, but everything is so bright and cheerful during the winter that you'll stick out like a sore thumb. (Speaking of which, that saying actually never made sense to me. How sore does a thumb have to be to stick out? Would slamming it in a car door suffice? Or would you have to break it? Is the thumb even a finger?) To properly adapt to your surroundings, wear a festive sweater, a light-up necklace, and a santa hat.

-Replace the star on top of your Christmas tree with a NINJA star (clever, huh?)

-Silence will not help you slide by unnoticed; carolers will think you are lacking in Christmas cheer. To fool them, you must join them! Belting out Christmas songs at the top of your lungs will ensure your stealthiness

-Bake ninja sword-shaped cookies

-Lots of them. (Ninjas need to keep their energy up, after all!)

-Give people these shirts as presents

-Learn to juggle. It is an essential ninja skill. Practice on ornaments

-Buy more ornamets to replace all the ones you broke

-Sing "Rudolph the Ninja Reindeer"

-Think of ninja variations on "The 12 days of Christmas" (who has the best?)

-Decorate your grappling hook with Christmas lights

-Watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Christmas Special

-Twice.

-Make peppermint smoothies using this

-Send out Christmas cards that say "Merry Christmas from the Ninjas!" or "Have a ninja-riffic Christmas!"